Hi second family;I got a new grandson at 10:14 a.m. yesterday. That joy seems overshadowed by Dad passing away at 7:46 this evening. I got to be with him holding his hand. It wasn't a scary "fighting for breath" experience like I saw earlier that scared me a lot, but he just stopped breathing, and I had to look hard at his chest and listen for a minute or more to make sure my mind wasn't playing tricks on me, then called in a nurse to please make sure. Mom's still in the hospital, she's handling it better than I would if it were my husband. She has a lot less of the "crying chemical" than I do. Gosh it took everything in me to pull myself away from him for the last time, but again I was in so much pain that if I stayed, I would have ended up in the E.R. alone, treated badly. I wanted to stay to comfort Mom, but after about 3 hours she said she'd be fine and insisted that I get some rest. One family member enters the family, another leaves. It happens a lot in my family, and almost every family member shares a birthday with another family member. Today's birth is shared with my 6 year old grandson. Thanks for all your love and prayers and support. It will be interesting to see if I lose any other of my terminally ill family members this year or my husband in that war; or even if I will go soon, but I will appreciate having them for as long as possible and appreciate the many little joys in life. Feeling that peace that passes all understanding, though I have cried so hard and long I feel like I have been exercising for many many hours.
To top it off, my Dr. told me to double my pain meds last time I saw him, so I did, and so now I need a refill, and he insists I am asking for them too soon, and doesn't remember telling me to double the dose, so I am going through the hardest part of my life with intolerable pain! God showed me last week that he can take away the pain completely if he wants, so I hope He will do that again so I can help my family through this. Here is a pic of my fuzzy looking sweet grandson. They say he has curly black hair. Well the mom and Dad are dark blonde and red hair, so that's strange! My Dad had black hair and almost latino dark skin, so I like guys with dark skin. Maybe my grandson's black hair came through my Dad's genes. I am the only blonde on both sides of the family, except for a great grandfather, so maybe that's where I got my hair color too.
What a precious father. It will hurt so much to be without him, but it was hurting worse to lay here and know he was suffering and that I couldn't do much to help. I am thanking our loving Heavenly Father for the time that I did get to be with my Dad. What a blessing he has ALWAYS been.