Yesterday I had an experience that made me really feel connected to my grandkids, and really made me feel like a grandma for the first time. My younger daughter (the one in pink shirt) called and had her oldest (the boy under her arm in maroon shirt) call me and talk his baby talk, and then he said "let's sing twinkle twinkle!" So we sang "Twinkle twinkle little star together" and he told me about what he learned in church on Sunday and about his bad dream the night before. I know I AM a grandma, but there is no communication between the boys and I and they only know me for the gifts I send. Now that my oldest grandson can read, I can start sending him letters so we can get to know each other better, and as the others learn to read, I'll do the same with them. I just feel like a useless grandma because with this weakness, I can't babysit them or get on the ground and play with them the way I want, so I barely know how to act if they were to come visit, or if I were to go visit there. I love kids so much. Even kids pictures and jokes can make me laugh like nothing else in this life.
This is the first time I have been brave enough to share family pics here. Here are my 2 girls and they each have 2 boys. I have only met 3 of them. 2 of those I saw just for a few hours out of these 11 years since I had to leave my girls in the USA after my husband left, and my choice was to become homeless and sick with 2 broken ankles, or to come back to Canada and live in a bedroom in my parents' home. The men are not in this picture because one was at National Guard that weekend, and the other is newly divorced but still friends with her ex, but he is at special forces training (Like Green Beret).
I am hoping to get feeling better (like I have hoped for 11 years) to start a new life, but I also have to make alternative plans to try to see them and enjoy them even if I don't get well. I am better now than I was before 2 or 3 weeks ago, but still have not gained much strength. I'm working on that.
So now you see what happens when you get married at 18...you get lots of grandkids very early in life. I was 36 or 37 when I became a grandma.
This Grandma business could be fun if I could get to the point that everything wasn't so difficult and so painful!