Friday, 27 February 2009
Wednesday, 25 February 2009
Hi Precious friends, so many of you are earth angels, helping to carry me though this.
Also Heavenly Father has just been carrying me this past 8 days that Mom's been in the hospital. I have not been able to go out for 8 days in a row since 1 year ago when Dad and Mom were both in the hospital at the same time, and Dad passed away, then I had to keep going to prepare the funeral TWICE because there was a blizzard, and all the original speakers and guests couldn't get into town. (For you newbies, I can't get out every day due to advanced health problems.)
Well now it is blizzarding again. These conditions are just so similar to when Dad passed, I can't help but think "what if"...but doing that can make you crazy. You can "what if" yourself to insanity.
I spent 6 hours the past few days on legal work to get my husband home, and finish the work for the new lawyer before the court date in 3 weeks, then the other 6-10 hours a day, I am with Mom. I was glad I went today. They had switched doctors on her, and the new doctor changed around all her medicines that we worked so hard to get perfect in the first place. She could not even move or talk she was in so much pain. I insisted they get another doctor up there to change them back, because she was in so much pain that her blood pressure went high enough to cause a stroke. The new Dr. came and ordered more meds than before, so it will keep her blood pressure down and keep her out of pain, and ordered more tests and procedures. I was glad to be her advocate and be able to help her. I wish I could stay there with her 24/7 but I would have to have the bed next to her if I stayed that long.
They said they will do anything to avoid surgery, which would kill her...but they fear that her bowel might burst, which would mean emergency surgery anyway.
I know that my loving Savior will help me through anything that happens, but some things I just don't want to go through, such as losing Mom, losing this house just a month or so before my husband gets here, or losing the chance to get my husband here. If they happen, I'm sure I will survive, but I sure dread facing it all. Oh well, half the things we worry about never happen anyway, so I need to stop worrying. A year ago, I had a lot of anxieties, but so many online friends helped me grow, so now I only worry when I am really tired. Worrying about it now will just make me suffer twice if it does happen. Once now and once then. That's not smart...so I keep my mind busy with how I can prepare for the future, not fear it.
Blessings to you all,
Posted by Bluebirdy at 21:58
Saturday, 21 February 2009
Posted by Bluebirdy at 16:58
Friday, 20 February 2009
Posted by Bluebirdy at 20:20
Sunday, 15 February 2009
4 tablespoons sugar
2 tablespoons cocoa
3 tablespoons milk
3 tablespoons oil
3 tablespoons chocolate chips (optional)
A small splash of vanilla extract
1 large coffee mug
Add dry ingredients to mug, and mix well. Add the egg and mix thoroughly.
Pour in the milk and oil and mix well.
Add the chocolate chips (if using) and vanilla extract, and mix again.
Put your mug in the microwave and cook for 3 minutes at 1000 watts.
The cake will rise over the top of the mug, but don't be alarmed!
Allow to cool a little, and tip out onto a plate if desired.
EAT! (this can serve 2 if you want to feel slightly more virtuous).
*And why is this the most dangerous cake recipe in the world ?*
Because now we are all only 5 minutes away from chocolate cake at any
time of the day or night!
Posted by Bluebirdy at 21:30
Wednesday, 11 February 2009
Posted by Bluebirdy at 23:45
Saturday, 7 February 2009
Posted by Bluebirdy at 02:24
Friday, 6 February 2009
I thank Mel Avarilla for this poster.
See his blog at
Posted by Bluebirdy at 19:58
Thursday, 5 February 2009
Salt Lake Tribune, United States -
The Utah guard lost three soldiers to suicide in 2005, four in 2006, one in 2007 and two in 2008. Officials said statistics from prior years were ...
SANDERS: Rising US military suicides tragic
US military suicide rate at record high
Army Suicide Rate at 30-Year Peak
New York Daily News, NY -
Last week, Army officials said its suicide rates were at their highest in nearly 30 years. Last year, 128 soldiers committed suicide and another 15 ...
Army official: Suicides in January 'terrifying'
Army Data Show Rise in Number of Suicides
US soldier suicides rise sharply in January
Posted by Bluebirdy at 20:01
Picture on the top left is a 10 minute walk from my husband's house where he walked daily for his exercise. It is now too dangerous to walk there. and you will find tanks and ammunition and camps of Taliban in that spot.
Picture on the right is one of the back alleys by the house my husband is in. Just through that alley is the market place, (Bazaar) where there are big signs that say "NO WOMEN ALLOWED". Shop keepers who allow women in will be shot. There are dead bodies hanging in the market, within vision of the food markets in the streets. That would lower your food bill! It would make you too sick to want to buy food! There are other things hanging there but I dare not mention it here, because it is disturbing to sensitive people.
The bottom picture is one of the destroyed schools. ALL schools are now destroyed or closed. Last month it was only the girls schools. This is directly against Islam's beliefs, who believe that education is the only way to learn about God and how you are supposed to live. I think Education is second on a Muslim's list of priorities. God, then education. So the Taliban are NOT upholding Islamic law.
Interesting fact: One man who belongs to the Taliban is called a Talib. It is the singular for the plural word of "Taliban". "A band of Talibs are called Taliban". They do not only attack "the west". They attack anyone.
I think I have been am a bit S-T-R-E-S-S-E-D by this war for 2 years now. I know we all are stressed, but this is a very unusual stress for someone in N. America to be going through, to be spending my days proofreading documents that talk about horrific atrocities that often send us to the bathroom to be sick, or we just have to stop for a break because of the shock of what we just translated. I feel almost as though I am in the war with him, but to a lesser degree. I am not alone in the fact of worrying about my husband. Every person in the world who has sent a military person there is going through that, and I feel like family with them. I know their thoughts and feelings.
This stress makes my illness worse...but its nothing compared to the strong people who are living there! I am learning all of the side affects of war and how it affects people's health in so many ways and how it changes day to day living and thinking. This area of people are a different culture of people than those in the same country surrounding them. They are so secluded they are called "A country within a country". They were very protected, innocent people about violence. Their culture forbids abuse and teaches courtesy in the EXTREME. They call it a tribal law and most people say that tribal law comes even before the Quran. Women have the rights to choose their mate and get divorced and to have careers, unlike most Muslim countries.
It seems ironic (and hard to understand) why the Taliban would bring horror to the most innocent people in that part of the world.
I am looking forward to getting my husband out of there, and we will no longer be doing documents each day that describes each atrocity in detail. We will change our translation work to more every-day documents. We have done our very small duty in helping to protect people from the Taliban. It does feel good to have been able to do something of global importance in this life. I think even prayer has great power and global influence. If that's all a person could do was to pray, it would be doing something that will have global influence.
Posted by Bluebirdy at 18:44
I went to the Dr. yesterday to find out about my test results for this 2 month long ordeal of attacks that feel worse than labor pains and kidney stones together. She's calling it "renal colic" with suspected very small stones the size of salt grains, suspecting that they are either coming out one after another every few hours and now every few days, or else there is one that is getting into the ureter and causing it to spasm up, then going back into the kidney, then going back into the ureter, in and out, causing repeated attacks. When that tube spasms up it can cause the bowels touching it to also spasm up, and I have so much scar tissue inside, that it pulls and tears on the scar tissue, so that's what is causing the pain that is the first pain to ever make me moan or yell into my pillow.
I asked her today if there was anything I could take during those attacks so I don't have to go to the hospital, something that would work fast. She offered one injectable medicine but I've tried that and it's useless to me.
( I wish she could write a standing order for the paramedics to just come give me a shot at home and leave me there at home, or if they MUST take me in, to have a standing order for IMMEDIATE pain relief, not 3-4 hours later...but they won't do that here.(Standing orders for ER).
She also asked why I didn't go to the hospital during these attacks. I said "Because I didn't want to go out into the freezing cold which makes the pain worse, then lay in the hospital for 3 or 4 hours in that pain that makes me scream, and its embarrassing to take a pillow and scream into the pillow in public, and I can't even speak for myself when I go alone, let alone defend myself, and I have to get up and walk out to the ambulance, which I was not able to do, and the Paramedics comment on my weight and make remarks if my hair is not washed or something. It's a horrible ordeal to deal with when you are screaming in pain and alone."
WHAT A DIFFERENCE TO HAVE A KIND DOCTOR!!--She said that I am probably the strongest and bravest patient she has ever had. She never had a patient with so many severely painful conditions stacked one on top of the other. When I get those attacks, I grit my teeth, which then also causes the trigeminal neuralgia, also unbearable pain.
Well I got some things changed in the ER protocol, maybe I can help get this changed too, to get standing orders for recurring problems.
Good news is that I get to cancel some very uncomfortable tests that were scheduled for the future. I'm glad to learn its nothing serious but I was PRAYING it would be something I could be treated for so I can build up my strength for my husband's return! Oh well, one day/hour at a time!
Thanks to 2 very inspired friends who have already walked the path that I am walking now, I am feeling much more peace and almost no fear about the future with or without my husband. That is a monumental growth for me. Mid march we finally get a court hearing so we can try to get him home SOON! I will be praying for the strength to even travel to the city the court session is in, and get through the 5 hour session. I have not sat up for 5 hours straight for years, I don't think. I'll be trying to make myself as strong as possible in every way for that day and for whatever comes after. I have to wait 3 months to 1 year for the court's decision. Isn't that insane? So I added more paperwork begging the judge for a speedy decision because of the extreme danger he is in and because of the extreme stress I go through with him, which might make me too useless to be a good wife if we wait too long. We'll see what Heavenly Father has planned.
Posted by Bluebirdy at 04:28