The Hardest Times=The Most Comfort!
I got a very practical lesson in understanding this verse this week:
2 Corinthians 1:7
And our hope of you is stedfast, knowing, that as ye are partakers of
the sufferings, so shall ye be also of the consolation.
And our hope of you is stedfast, knowing, that as ye are partakers of
the sufferings, so shall ye be also of the consolation.
The harder the trials, the more we open ourselves up to feel the Lord's comfort and strength. The more we spend time listening when we pray, instead of just talking.
All of this year, I was so very determined to change as many things in my life as possible. I was determined that 2010 was going to be the beginning of a whole new life for me. I was going to change all my unhealthy thoughts and habits, and find remedies for my health problems. Changes came in baby steps, as much as my very limited body would allow me. I felt inspired as I found the exact supplements/herbs that got my fibromyalgia under control. I thanked the Lord daily for this blessing. However, my lupus was getting worse, and attacking more organs, causing them to fail, and I was so ill, I couldn't really enjoy the absence of my fibromyalgia. I was spending more and more hours a day semi-conscious because of damage to my pancreas and liver. I avoided the Dr., because in my 35 years with this disease, I have learned there are only certain symptoms they are able/willing to help with.
Last week I got a large amount of blood tests, and the results were serious enough that I got a phone call from the Dr. and she told me the news over the phone, rather than waiting until our next appointment in a few weeks. My liver was so damaged by lupus, that all of the supplements and herbs I was taking, my liver could not assimilate or clean out the toxins from my body. There is nothing wrong with the supplements (for those of you afraid it might happen to you). It's just that my liver is so weak now, that even if I take more than 3 medicines, I get liver problems.
This means that I can no longer take ANYTHING that might remedy my problems, either natural or prescription. The Dr. said that even though it would not be good for me, I would need to stay on my pain meds and find a sleep remedy, because you can't heal unless you get rest, and if your pain can get to a bearable level.
I was in shock. I went home, thinking that God WANTED me to suffer for some reason, and it hurt to my soul. I thought He loved me! Why would He WANT me to suffer, without being able to take anything as a remedy, and without even being able to even seek help? Who does not seek help for their suffering? I cried all day. I couldn't even think clearly enough to logically reason myself out of the pit I was in, or to remember comforting scriptures.
Then that night, 3 people sent e-mails that were so perfect, so perfectly timed, that it was as if it was Heavenly Father speaking directly to me, through my Godly friends. I felt such comfort, and laughed in joy, realizing that He DOESN'T want us to suffer. Even if it is not His will to heal me right now, He is here to comfort me and strengthen me. I am so mad at myself for forgetting that lesson... that He is quick to comfort and strengthen, if we are open to hearing Him.
I want to share with you the first thing that touched me so deeply. It is an incredible short video of how our Heavenly Father "Fathers" each of us.
The next help came with the book I am editing for a lady whose son committed suicide. The very place that I left off a few days earlier, when I started reading again, was 3 pages of explanation on how it WAS a joy for Paul to suffer, because that is when He felt the most comfort, the closest to the Lord, and that we can have that as well. She also said:
The Savior is exactly that, a Savior of our sanity, a Savior of our faith. He has saved
me, and I know He will save each person who comes to Him with faith that He lives,
me, and I know He will save each person who comes to Him with faith that He lives,
faith that He loves us. -Darla Isackson
Then she summarized something from the book "Hanoi Hilton", by a prisoner of war who was held captive for years.
An admiral named James Stockdale spent about six years at the "Hanoi Hilton" as a
prisoner of war. Stockdale documented three responses to that terrible trial, which I'll
prisoner of war. Stockdale documented three responses to that terrible trial, which I'll
summarize:
The pessimists saw the brutal facts, gave up and died, even though their bodies may have been healthy.
2. The optimists had boundless faith and ignored the brutal facts. They believed every rustle in the bush was marines coming to save them and that they would soon be on their way home. When that did not happen, they too gave up and died.
3. The realists faced the brutal facts, but had faith they could be dealt with. They accepted the improbability of rescue any time soon and banded together determined to survive anyway.
In the aftermath of tragedy we all have the same three choices: to be a pessimist and die inside, to be overly optimistic (put on a smiley face, pretend it didn't happen, live a lie) and eventually crash, or we can be realists. We can accept what has happened, gather our support systems, turn to the Lord, learn what He has for us to learn, have faith that we can make it through, and choose to live.
The third help came from a friend who was grieving her brother who had died recently. She is going to get grief counseling, but she also gets grief devotionals daily. The one that came that day seemed just for me, as I grieved any hope of a brighter future, or better quality of life. I have already lost 2 husbands due to this illness, and had to leave my children in the USA when I moved back to my home town in Canada, the fear of never seeing them again, never meeting my grandchildren or sons-in-law. That day all the losses due to this disease came to the surface...and the loss of hope anything improving in the future. Just imagine, if you were told that nothing will ever get any better than it is right now, and you are not even allowed to SEEK any help, because every remedy you are offered will make you sicker? The grief devotional said:
"Grief's unexpected turns will throw you again and again. You may feel that for every step forward,
you take at least one step back. The grieving process generally takes longer than you ever imagined.
you take at least one step back. The grieving process generally takes longer than you ever imagined.
Please don't rush this process. Remember, what you are feeling is not only normal; it is necessary.
"Knowing the Lord and His comfort does not take away the ache; instead, it supports you in the middle
of the ache. Until I get home to heaven, there's going to be an ache that won't quit. The grieving
process for me is not so much a matter of getting rid of the pain, but not being controlled by the
pain."
We read in the Psalms that David grew weary with the process of grief and cried out to the Lord.
Then he left the timing in God's hands.
"Be merciful to me, LORD, for I am faint; O LORD, heal me, for my bones are in agony. My soul is in
"Be merciful to me, LORD, for I am faint; O LORD, heal me, for my bones are in agony. My soul is in
anguish. How long, O LORD, how long? Turn, O LORD, and deliver me; save me because of your
unfailing love" (Psalm 6:2-4).
"I am weary with my sighing; Every night I make my bed swim, I dissolve my couch with my tears. My
"I am weary with my sighing; Every night I make my bed swim, I dissolve my couch with my tears. My
eye has wasted away with grief" (Psalm 6:6-7 NASB).
Heavenly God, I cannot even begin to put my grief in a time frame. Thank you that I don't have to.
Heavenly God, I cannot even begin to put my grief in a time frame. Thank you that I don't have to.
Comfort me and support me as I lean on You. Amen."
That was a really dark day, but now I have hope that the Lord will comfort me and strengthen me through anything, and whatever is His will, I must trust those things. ALL things DO work for good for those who love the Lord. ALL things! Even if we don't see the results until the next life.
The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart;
and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit" (Psalm 34: 18).
and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit" (Psalm 34: 18).
I AM SO GRATEFUL TO KNOW THE LORD AND HIS COMFORT AND THE SOURCE OF STRENGTH AND PEACE. I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW PEOPLE WHO DON'T KNOW HIM EVEN PUT ONE FOOT IN FRONT OF THE OTHER. May we all try to share this blessing with others. As we are comforted, we are able to comfort others.
BLESS YOU!
