LIFE --1 Hour At A Time!

FINALLY I HAVE WONDERFUL NEWS!!!
I guess it's true that its always darkest before the dawn.

I was being bogged down with so much legal paperwork to get my husband home from the war zone because of his family needing him here (me and my family), that I would need 3 or 4 secretaries to do it all. I spent a few days working 16 hours a day and I that was about 1/10th the amount I still have to do. I am continually getting emails telling me horror stories of people in my situation and that I should not put my husband in the situation of living with a sick wife, etc. and it finally made me snap emotionally. I spent days sobbing, in confusion so bad I could barely put sentences together. I just felt hopeless. I wondered if what I had was a nervous breakdown, so I looked it up and one site explained:

In breakdowns of the depressive type, there may be uncontrollable crying, loss of pleasure in all activities, dramatic weight loss or weight gain, sleep disruption or extreme sleepiness, confusion, disorientation, extreme feelings of worthlessness, guilt, despair and hopelessness.

That's what I felt. So I begged the Lord to please heal at least that horrible feeling and sobbing and confusion, because He is the only help I have. I fell asleep and woke up feeling better than I have felt in a couple of years! My mind is clear, my emotions are balanced, I am on less than half of my pain medicine, I have not needed any diabetes medicine at all! I am almost afraid to say I am completely and forever healed, in case it will jinx me, but for however long the Lord allows me to feel like this, I PRAISE AND THANK HIM and am enjoying life and every moment! Feeling good is like heaven on earth. You can handle ANYTHING if you've got your health!!
I had to even stop talking to my husband for quite a few days because to even think of all the torment this is, would make me shake and sob. For about 4 days I prayed so very hard for the Lord to give me strength and courage and heal my mind and heart, my unstable emotions, and make me physically stronger...and one morning about 3 days ago I woke up feeling like a different person! My pain meds are less than half, depression is gone, fear is gone, I feel like the Lord can carry me through anything now. Before I kept WANTING to believe it, but I always thought of how much more I would have to suffer through each trial even with His help. . If the Lord helps me stay in this state of mind, things will be fine, and I can see every trial will just be another lesson, not an attack from Satan.
My Dr. was only in the office 2 mornings then took off again so I'm on my own again, trying to figure out if increasing my exercise makes me weaker or stronger, but praying for healing of my heart (physical) if nothing else. Then I'd have more energy to help my hubby when he gets here.
One good thing, the war seems to be easing up where my hubby is, so he is going to see tomorrow if the Taliban have gotten out of the court house so we can get the papers we need. Whatever way it goes, whatever happens, it will be ok. This is so wonderful, I feel like my former strong self that I used to like and was not ashamed of, is back. It's a healing, for sure. Another blessing and small miracle when the Lord knew I could not handle any more. How long it will stay, I don't know. Last time it was 1 week, a few weeks before my Dad passed away. I hope this time of remission is longer.
I pray that all of my beloved friends/readers can experience this SOON!

HOMEWARD BOUND (by Sheila Wall)
Please use author's name when using ANY poetry or articles.

Though dreams are shattered
And friends have gone,
Though winds blow cold
And storms stay long,
Though pain and heartache
Do not belong,
And still they stay, I will sing my song.
Then they will see I'm not around to
let dark shadows get me down,
And though hard problems
do me surround,
I'll let them know I am homeward bound.
I'll wear a smile through thick and thin
Then they will see that we can win
And things are better with a high chin
For then all things can shine again.

CHEERY- by Sheila Wall
A special feeling's in the air,
Can't tell you what it is that's there,
All I know is I can say
Something good's gonna happen today!

The air is cool, the sky is white,
Still I know there's something right!
Someone's on my side today
And no one's gonna take it away,
Cuz something good will happen today!

Blessings,
Bluebirdy

Posted by Bluebirdy at 14:30 1 comments  

Labels: blonde, brother, God's help, prayer

Posted by Bluebirdy at 14:26 0 comments  

I have had so many wonderful new friends, spiritual, loving, encouraging friends that have come to me through this blog. Many have been through the same problems I have, and have overcome them, some haven't, but try to understand anyway. I believe the Lord can heal anytime He wants, but often he chooses not to. This does not indicate a lack of faith of the person who is suffering. There are many biblical accounts of people not being healed, but they each had a purpose.

Some of my friends are getting angry at me, impatient with me for not getting well yet. They think I must not pray enough, or just don't have enough faith. Both assumptions are wrong. I love this quote about being healed...or more about NOT being healed:


God does heal today as He did in Bible times. He also uses our physical and mental weaknesses to develop our spiritual growth—as He did with Apostle Paul’s thorn in the flesh. (2CO 12:7) I believe that Jesus used a variety of healing methods so that we could not develop five sure-fire steps to miraculous healing on our own. Jesus focuses us on what is important to Him: “The Spirit gives life, the flesh counts for nothing.” (John 6:63) We can pray for healing, “naming it and claiming it,” but we must also be willing to live in our present, or deteriorating condition, if that’s God’s plan for us. With our pain comes the sensitivity to comfort others as we ourselves have been comforted in Christ. God is the final authority on how, if, and when healing occurs in our life. We are assured that we will have no physical trials when we join Him in Heaven. (Phil. 3:20-21)
---JONNIE WRIGHT http://www.jonniewright.com/beliefs.htm

I would LOVE to be healed today, and have the health enough to do everything possible on this earth, but not everyone has the same mission. Though I admire the people who have been healed and try to tell me that I SHOULD be healed as well, and I try to live like those examples, I think I need to try to save my sanity by not denying my illness and begging for healing until I am so upset that I almost have a nervous breakdown and can't do anything but sob....instead, maybe it's time to accept that this is what the Lord's will is for me, and "BE STILL", and know that HE IS! And to learn the lessons I'm supposed to learn from illness, and let others learn the lessons from knowing a person who might not be healed.

This is a time of great transition in my life and I am ready for it and welcoming it. I will seek HIS strength when I have none, and I will try not to beat myself up mentally for not being healed for some reason. This is the Lord's will, I must live with it and learn from it, or my pain has been for nothing. I hope those faithful friends who have grown weary that I have not yet been healed, will also learn from this, that not all people will be healed, and will welcome me back into their circle of fellowship with the Lord.
Blessings,
Bluebirdy.

Posted by Bluebirdy at 22:46 1 comments  

Labels: blonde, brother, God's help, prayer

Still

Words and Music by Reuben Morgan

Hide me now
Under your wings
Cover me
within your mighty hand

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with you above the storm
Father you are king over the flood
I will be still and know you are God
Find rest my soul

In Christ alone
Know his power
In quietness and trust

Posted by Bluebirdy at 20:45 0 comments  

Somebody's prayin', I can feel it

Somebody's prayin' for me

Mighty hands are guiding me

To protect me from what I can't see

Lord I believe, Lord I believe

Somebody's prayin', for me.







Angels are watchin', I can feel it

Angels are watchin' over me

There's many miles ahead 'til I get home

Still I'm safely kept before your throne

'Cause Lord I believe, Lord I believe

Angels are watchin' over me.







Well, I've walked through barren wilderness

Where my pillow was a stone

And I've been through the darkest caverns

Where no light had ever shown.

Still I went on 'cause there was someone

Who was down on their knees

And Lord. I thank you for those people

Prayin' all this time for me.







Somebody's prayin', I can feel it

Somebody's prayin' for me

Mighty hands are guiding me

To protect me from what I can't see

Lord I believe, Lord I believe

Somebody's prayin' for me...

Somebody's prayin', for me








SONG BY RICKY SKAGGS

THANKYOU FRIENDS for all your prayers.

Posted by Bluebirdy at 13:46 0 comments  

Labels: blonde, brother, God's help, prayer

I'm in so much pain physically and emotionally, I can't bear it, and can't get help for it. I keep begging you Lord to guide me to know what to do to get feeling better, and to help me do it, but I am not getting the message. Maybe because the pain is louder than your "Still small voice" that guides us? Too much stress in too short of a time. Too long for me to detail everything that happened just this month and I don't have the strength. I spend almost every waking moment in prayer or in researching how to get better, since the doctors don't want to treat me and since all I get from them is abuse anyway. Naturopathic medicine is not abusive and not toxic like prescriptions, but VERY expensive, and there are thousands of treatments. Don't know where to start. Can't even think. I feel like I'm running out of life like a battery or cell phone slowly running out of energy...I hope I can find something to "recharge" me soon, or I fear the misery I will be in. I don't fear death, just fear more suffering. I can't even put on an act of positivity right now. I don't have the strength or the clear mind to do it. How can a person suffer so much and not go unconscious? If Satan is trying to get me to forsake you, like he tried with Job, he is wasting his time. I will never deny you or your love. Thankyou for sending all my earth angel friends who help me again and again when I can't think for myself. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Posted by Bluebirdy at 03:33 0 comments  

Labels: blonde, brother, God's help, prayer

Hello Friends!

I decided I'd better take some of my energy to post something. Since my heart stopped while getting groceries a few weeks ago, I have been as weak as a baby. Too weak to think, to type for very long, to even breathe.

NO MATTER HOW DIFFICULT MY LIFE IS RIGHT NOW, I/WE ARE GREATLY BLESSED!!!

• If you woke up this morning with more health than illness,you are more blessed than the million who won't survive the week.
• If you have never experienced the danger of battle,the loneliness of imprisonment,the agony of torture or the pangs of starvation,you are ahead of 20 million people around the world.
• If you attend a church meeting without fear of harassment,arrest, torture, or death, you are more blessed than almost three billion people in the world.
• If you have food in your refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof over your head and a place to sleep,you are richer than 75% of this world.
• If you have money in the bank, some in your wallet, and spare change in a dish someplace, you are among the top 8% of the world's wealthy.
• If your parents are still married and alive, you are very rare, especially in the United States.
• If you hold up your head with a smile on your face and are truly thankful, you are blessed because the majority can, but most do not.
• If you can hold someone's hand, hug them or even touch them on the shoulder, you are blessed because you can offer God's healing touch.
• If you can read this message,you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world that cannot read anything at all.
• You are so blessed in ways you may never even know.
• If you are feeling blessed, repay the blessings bestowed unto you and do something for others.
• A blessing cannot be kept. If it stops with you, then the blessing will disappear. The blessing will only keep working if it is continuously passed around.
• If you are a recipient of a blessing, keep the blessing working by being the source of blessing to other people.

I started researching what people should do to recover after a heart attack. The literature says that for the first week the patient isn't supposed to do ANYTHING physical at all. No climbing stairs, no walking farther than about 10 steps, nothing. For the first month they are supposed to avoid any traumatic news or emotional upset. That's kind of impossible in this world. I did exactly what I shouldn't have, so probably made my heart problem worse! I just want to be well! I have been carrying in heavy groceries and using the stairs (almost falling to my knees at the top), and there has been overwhelming emotional things happen about every other day, from the amount of paperwork that the lawyer is asking me to do, problems from the medical system, a disagreement with a friend, and now it has been suggested to me to contact the Civil rights union in Canada, to try to get my husband home.
I don't know if I can handle the stress of starting this case all over again with another group (Civil Rights Union). Yes I would die for my husband, but I sure don't like the suffering that comes before the dying.

Someone said "The hard tasks we do right away. The impossible takes a little longer." Well, it SEEMS impossible, but if it's God's will, HE will help us find a solution to the impossible.

I was given 12 assignments by the lawyer. I worked for 16 hours on it the other day, that was the first assignment. It will take a very long time if they all take 16 hours, because I can't work on it every day. I do wonder if the legal system is spreading this out over many many hours so they can get paid more (Legal aid is paying for it, so maybe they figure they are not hurting me by taking more hours to do it.) I don't know anymore. Everything we are being told to do, every direction and option that we look at to get together seems to be blocked by a brick wall, so we sit in the middle, walled in, no options, not able to plan for the future because we don't know if we will be planning for a couple or for 2 separated people, but can't bear to call it quits, either. I have told him many times that it would be OK if we got the marriage annulled and he married someone else. If he can't get to Canada and I am too sick to move to another country, I don't want him to waste his life. He gets quite upset. He wants to be with me no matter how hard it is and no matter how ill I get. It seems like he thinks this is the Lord's will, and that it is sort of like a calling for me to be ill, because we and others around us learn from people who are ill, and he thinks it is his calling to be married to me, because he will learn from it and will be blessed for helping someone who needs so much help. One person had an interesting theory. He said that if it IS God's will that I don't get cured, and that my hubby be with a sick wife, then it wouldn't matter if he was married to me or someone else, the other wife would also become sick...so he might as well keep trying to be with someone he loves, rather than break up and find someone else.

Having NO control over our life or our future or our options is so discouraging. It's enough to make you lose hope, especially when you are too weak to think of creative alternatives.

Oh well, I will "Lean not on my own understanding", because "The Lord's ways are not our ways". Having so little strength to do anything has made me "BE STILL, AND KNOW THAT HE IS." It has made me take time to listen to the answers to my prayers, not just talk to God. Why pray if you don't listen for the answers?

Mom and I got food poisoning night before last from Salsa in a plastic container. I couldn't figure out how that could become poisonous. The expiration date was fine. Then a friend that works in a fast food place told me that if tomatoes are frozen, then left unrefrigerated too long, they can grow bacteria or spoil. The store must have left it off the shelf too long. Wow that was horrible. I am glad we had 2 bathrooms. We were laying on the floor there, too weak to get back to our room in between our sessions of being sick. Too sick to go to the E.R. for sure. I thank God it only lasted one night and was not worse than it was.

Last week California approved gay marriages. Every time any other state or province has done that, a natural disaster has happened days later. In Ontario, the SARS virus hit. In B.C., a horrible flood occurred. I can't remember which state it was, but I remember a tornado or something happening there when they approved gay marriage, and so I was wondering what would happen in California. Well now in the news they are telling about a massive amount of frogs coming up through the storm drains in some part of California, so many that it looked like a plague! Strange!

No matter how hard things are for my family, I still pray for those who are going through things that are so much worse, like those in the Beijing earthquake, and the Myanmar cyclones and other Asian areas cyclones,
MORE, BIGGER aftershocks happened today in Beijing and they have no way how they will clean up all the debris and bodies that are still hidden under the debris before the Olympics in a few months. Then in the Southern USA, a tornado a few miles wide wiped out whole counties! The newspapers are saying that USA doesn't have enough manpower to help, because Bush sent the men to other countries, and they don't have enough money to help, because he is bankrupting the country, causing a serious depression by spending 8 billion dollars a day in the war. God bless all of them. I would like to support the war by bringing all our boys home. You have the right to disagree with my opinion, but thank the Lord we are allowed to have free thought, free speech, freedom of the press, etc. I could not say these things in MANY MANY countries of the world.

Well, this took me many many hours. I am worn out.
Blessings to you all!
Bluebirdy

Posted by Bluebirdy at 21:14 0 comments  

Labels: blonde, brother, God's help, prayer

Posted by Bluebirdy at 19:59 0 comments  

Posted by Bluebirdy at 19:40 0 comments  

I have always loved this explanation that is a metaphor and explanation for our continued trials.

 

For all you out there that feel like you are in the refiner's fire.. There is a reason why.

Keep the faith, Pray often and you will find that it will be over before you know it.

 

 

MALACHI 3:3 says: 'He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver.'   This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God.   One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible Study.   That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond her curiosity about the process of refining Silver.   As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities.   The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot; then she thought again about the verse that says:   'He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver.' She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time.   The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.   The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, 'How do you know when the silver is fully refined?'   He smiled at her and answered, 'Oh, that's easy -- when I see my image in it.' ~~~~~~~~~~~~ If you are going through continued trial after trial, know that it is only to help strengthen you, and burn off all of your weaknesses, and the Lord does this until He can see Himself in our hearts and in our lives. He will keep watching you carefully, so that the fire of the trials will not destroy you.   This very moment, someone needs to know that God is watching over them.   And, whatever they're going through, they'll be a better person in the end.   Blessings, Bluebirdy

Posted by Bluebirdy at 11:34 0 comments  

 

---

 

1. Thou shall not worry, for worry is the most unproductive of all human activities.

    

2. Thou shall not be fearful, for most of the things we fear never come to pass.
   
3. Thou shall not cross bridges before you come to them, for no one yet has succeeded in accomplishing this.
   
4. Thou shall face each problem as it comes. You can only handle one at a time anyway.
   
5. Thou shall not take problems to bed with you, for they make very poor bedfellows.
   
6. Thou shall not borrow other people's problems. They can better care for them than you can.
   
7. Thou shall not try to relive yesterday for good or ill, it is forever gone. Concentrate on what is happening in your life and be happy now!
   
8. Thou shall be a good listener, for only when you listen do you hear ideas different from your own. It is hard to learn something new when you are talking, and some people do know more than you do.
   
9. Thou shall not become "bogged down" by frustration, for 90% of it is rooted in self-pity and will only interfere with positive action.
   
10. Thou shall count thy blessings, never overlooking the small ones, for a lot of small blessings add up to big ones.
    
    

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