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Thursday, 23 August 2012

My Absence

He who dwells in the shelter of the most high will
rest in the shadow of the Almighty. –Psalm 91:04
 
 
Hello friends,

I’m sorry I’ve only posted 2 posts in 1 year. My health got much worse, which affected my concentration, so I am no longer able to think like I used to. I part of each day semi-conscious due to various health problems, and even my vision changes from hour to hour.

However, through it all, I am at peace, more than any other time in my life. I feel the Lord near. I feel His guidance, His whispers, His comforts through the Holy Ghost. I am most blessed!! Depression and anxiety are gone. I get frustrated now and then, but not a true clinical depression.

In January I went through a divorce. I tried for 8 years to get permission for my husband to immigrate to Canada. Why it took 8 years, will never make sense to me. It was only a few years that we realized that this marriage would not work out. I had become too sick to help him in every way a wife helps a husband, and to help him adapt to a whole new culture. We wanted to stop the immigration process earlier, but we weren’t allowed to, unless we claimed that one of us committed marriage fraud, which would mean jail. So we just kept going through the torment of paperwork over and over and over, and the emotional turmoil involved. The Dr. suspected that a lot of my heart problems came from the immigration stress for so many years. When we learned that hubby would not even be allowed a visitor’s visa, and I’m too sick to go to another country, we decided it’s best if we broke it off, to give hubby a chance to fall in love and have a normal marriage with children.

In February I had a head injury that has also caused problems. They called it a mild TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury), with post-concussion syndrome.

In April a Dr. told me I need a heart transplant, so I guess one of the big problems with my brain is not enough blood getting to it. I won’t be getting the heart transplant. I don’t qualify for the transplant list, because I have other organs that are failing; and because lupus would attack the new heart too. Even if my health was better, I’ve been told that in Canada, (or possibly just my province) people who are on disability don’t qualify, because the gov’t doesn’t spend large amounts on us. I was denied a pacemaker/internal defibrillator a number of years ago. I am not a bit scared though, because every time my heart has stopped, if there wasn’t a medical person around to restart it, God would restart it, and He will continue to do so until my purpose is finished for being kept alive.

I’ve missed the blogging community, and I’ve lost a lot of friends because I was not strong enough to keep up with email replies. I’m hoping I can attend to my blog more often, but I might be using a lot of pictures rather than a lot of writing. I’ll do what I can. Thanks to those of you who have kept in touch with me through all of this. I hope to be able to start blog-hopping again.
May the Lord bless you as He has blessed me!



2 comments:

It's good to hear from you. GOD is good !!

Welcome back to blogging! I have been away for too long myself--better late than never...always so wonderful to hear from you!

You are always in my heart and my prayers...

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