My Absence
He who dwells in the shelter of the
most high will
rest in the shadow of the Almighty. –Psalm 91:04
I’m sorry I’ve only posted 2 posts
in 1 year. My health got much worse, which affected my concentration, so I am no
longer able to think like I used to. I part of each day semi-conscious due to
various health problems, and even my vision changes from hour to hour.
However, through it all, I am at
peace, more than any other time in my life. I feel the Lord near. I feel His
guidance, His whispers, His comforts through the Holy Ghost. I am most blessed!!
Depression and anxiety are gone. I get frustrated now and then, but not a true
clinical depression.
In January I went through a
divorce. I tried for 8 years to get permission for my husband to immigrate to
Canada. Why it took 8 years, will never make sense to me. It was only a few
years that we realized that this marriage would not work out. I had become too
sick to help him in every way a wife helps a husband, and to help him adapt to a
whole new culture. We wanted to stop the immigration process earlier, but we
weren’t allowed to, unless we claimed that one of us committed marriage fraud,
which would mean jail. So we just kept going through the torment of paperwork
over and over and over, and the emotional turmoil involved. The Dr. suspected
that a lot of my heart problems came from the immigration stress for so many
years. When we learned that hubby would not even be allowed a visitor’s visa,
and I’m too sick to go to another country, we decided it’s best if we broke it
off, to give hubby a chance to fall in love and have a normal marriage with
children.
In February I had a head
injury that has also caused problems. They called it a mild TBI (Traumatic Brain
Injury), with post-concussion syndrome.
In April a Dr. told me I need a
heart transplant, so I guess one of the big problems with my brain is not enough
blood getting to it. I won’t be getting the heart transplant. I don’t qualify
for the transplant list, because I have other organs that are failing; and
because lupus would attack the new heart too. Even if my health was better, I’ve
been told that in Canada, (or possibly just my province) people who are on
disability don’t qualify, because the gov’t doesn’t spend large amounts on us. I
was denied a pacemaker/internal defibrillator a number of years ago. I am not a
bit scared though, because every time my heart has stopped, if there wasn’t a
medical person around to restart it, God would restart it, and He will continue
to do so until my purpose is finished for being kept alive.
I’ve missed the blogging
community, and I’ve lost a lot of friends because I was not strong enough to
keep up with email replies. I’m hoping I can attend to my blog more often, but I
might be using a lot of pictures rather than a lot of writing. I’ll do what I
can. Thanks to those of you who have kept in touch with me through all of this.
I hope to be able to start blog-hopping again.
May the Lord bless you as He has blessed me!
May the Lord bless you as He has blessed me!
