LIFE --1 Hour At A Time!

Thursday, 8 November 2007

Reply to previous blog and explanation of new unbearable pain

Thankyou C. This is so thoughtful of you. That's amazing that you remembered where my husband is and what he does there! I get google's news reports with any news article in English about Mingora. They come about every 2 hours. I'd better have Fazal check to see if our lawyer is safe. We have needed one to get him home. His company refuses to let him come home because they can't find a replacement, and they have ways to stop him. he was supposed to be home in February, and I had a hotel room reserved for a honeymoon type vacation and everything, then found out he would not be let to leave. We should get news this week about when he will be coming or what's going on that is being kept secret from us, etc. I pass over most of the email news articles, some are very gory with stories of beheadings for no reason of people walking to get milk, etc. (which my husband has seen). I know he won't be the same person when he gets home, but we will work it out with God's help. He saw barber shops bombed by the extremists who want the men to not shave, (so close to his house that the bomb rubble landed on his house) and my husband can be killed if his beard doesn't grow fast enough!! People there, (my husband and especially children) are getting lung infections breathing in all the stuff that was in the bombs, and all the material that WAS bombed. I never thought of this aspect of war before, that people would get sick from the bombing.) They destroyed 140 shops that sold music CDs. These terrorists are not only terrorizing the world, they are destroying anyone who is not "perfect" enough in their own religion.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mom was going to drive me to the Dr. out of town today. I guess I wore her out by making her go to the hospital 2 days in a row with me, so I drove myself, but had to pull off to the side of the highway every 5 minutes and lay down on the seats and cry, then drive 5 more minutes. I've never known pain like this for so long, even with all my surgeries and 35 years of lupus which is as painful as torture at times. The ease in pain helps me deal with thoughts of what my husband is going through, and likewise, when I know my husband is safe for a few days when they go somewhere, it eases my pain.

The Dr. was very kind, I drove back the same way, got to the pharmacy, then took one of the pills before I drove home. Gosh what a wonderful feeling being pain free is! I hope with all my heart this is only an infection that will be temporary, because if this is my new level of pain permanently, I am in serious trouble,and so is my husband. Even if he has to leave with just the clothes on his back, I want him out of there. Airports are starting to close, so I'm praying he CAN get out of there if the judge finds a way to get him released from Pakistan.

Thanks for all your kind notes yesterday when I needed so badly to feel another human being on the other end of the computer line.

HUGS and blessings,
Bluebirdy (who is a little blue lately.)

Posted by Bluebirdy at 21:38 0 comments

Labels: faith, fibromyalgia, lupus, pain, prayer

Small Idea of My Husband's World

I belong to a few email groups, and this letter was sent to the group today. What a kind group leader to remember what city you are in and your profession.

Below is the letter he sent the group, and then an article about the city my hubby is in.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Below is an article from yesterday's Canada National Post. This area
of Pakistan, Swat, is where Bluebirdy's husband works as a translator.
She has called it "the most dangerous city on earth." I am
posting this article not for any political discussion but to give you
all some background about what Bluebirdy and her husband are dealing
with. And of course, let's keep Bluebirdy's husband in our prayers that
he stay safe.

C.

Pakistan fighting wrong enemy
Taliban seize post as police busy beating lawyers
PETER GOODSPEED

As police beat up lawyers outside courthouses in Pakistan yesterday,
Islamist radicals seized three police stations and a military post in
the town of Matta in the picturesque Swat valley, just a few hours'
drive northwest of Islamabad.

The two images capture the conflict raging in Pakistan.

In Swat, the radicals hoisted black and white jihadi flags over the
captured security buildings and vowed to establish a system of shariah
law in the mountainous region frequently described as the "Switzerland
of South Asia."

Rejecting a British-style justice system they see as foreign,
expensive and corrupt, the rebels, who regard themselves as Pakistani
Taliban, are determined to create a thuggish theocratic state.

In urban Pakistan, meanwhile, up to 3,000 of the country's 12,000
lawyers have been jailed since Saturday as President Pervez Musharraf
moves to crush all opposition to his declaration of a national state
of emergency.

The President claimed to put the country under martial law to stem a
surge in terrorism and extremism.

However, the chief targets of the security forces during the past four
days have been Pakistan's Supreme Court, lawyers, opposition
politicians, human rights activists and a muzzled press.

It is perhaps not surprising that Gen. Musharraf's crackdown on
"judicial activism" has been counterbalanced by an expansion of
Taliban influence in the troubled tribal areas.

Instead of curbing Islamic extremism, the state of emergency may aid
an insurgency by fighters allied with al-Qaeda and the Taliban. As
security forces beat and gas pro-democracy and pro-Western dissidents,
they have little energy or time for counterinsurgency operations.

Instead of hunting terrorists, police are focused on arresting lawyers
who object to suspension of the rule of law.

Yet after eight years in power with virtually no restraints,
Pakistan's military has done little to quash discontent in the tribal
areas bordering Afghanistan.

In that time, domestic terrorism has increased. Foreign and homegrown
jihadis flocked to sanctuaries in northwestern Pakistan, where alQaeda
and a resurgent Taliban plot and prepare for a comeback.

The military has suffered a series of humiliating defeats at the hands
of radicals, whose latest victory in Swat came when more than two
dozen police and soldiers offered no resistance.

After being paraded in public and declaring they "did not want to
fight these Muslim brothers who are striving for the enforcement of
Islamic shariah," they were allowed to go home.

It's a pattern that's been repeated since August, when more than 250
government troops surrendered to a smaller group of terrorists in
Waziristan without firing a shot.

There are suggestions the mass surrenders indicate the military's
growing disillusionment with Gen. Musharraf. Reluctant to fight their
fellow countrymen in a war that is portrayed as something ordered by
Washington, some rank-and-file soldiers simply give up.

Senior officers have always been ambivalent about fighting Islamist
radicals. Many still regard the Taliban as former allies and a hedge
against U.S. and Indian influence in Afghanistan.

As a result, the homegrown terrorists who have hidden Osama bin Laden
and the Taliban's top leaders since 2001 are no longer restricted to
the untamed border regions. They have infiltrated more settled areas
and the largest cities.

In Swat, a previously quiet tourist district, fighters respond to the
exhortations of Maulana Fazlullah, a former madrassa student who
rallies supporters through his pirate FM radio station.

His followers, backed by fighters from Uzbekistan, Afghanistan and
Waziristan, have succeeded in driving government authority from the
region. They have closed a half-dozen girls' schools and regularly set
up checkpoints and direct traffic.

They have set fire to shops selling Western music and Indian films and
beaten barbers who shave beards. More recently they blew up one of
Swat's top tourist attractions — a 1,300-year-old carving of a seated
Buddha cut into a 45-metre-high rock face.

"The military-led government will be hard put to show results and
convince the world and the Pakistani people that enforcement of the
emergency has paid dividends and helped make gains against the
militants," an editorial in the Karachi newspaper Dawn predicted
yesterday.

"The world would not be wrong in coming to the conclusion the generals
used the war on terror as a ploy to strengthen their stranglehold over
the country."

Posted by Bluebirdy at 21:32 0 comments

Labels: faith, fibromyalgia, lupus, pain, prayer

Wednesday, 7 November 2007

Quiet Time

Hello all;
Been laying in intolerable pain for 8 days. I got a break for 1 day so I could shower and wash clothes, then next day (yesterday) it was even worse. I started my third batch of antibiotics which are suposed to be the strongest there is (zithromax). I waited here in pain for so long, unable to eat or get a drink, just sipping water with my pills. Morphine didn't even work, so called my Dr. and he told me to go to the E.R. The ambulance came, mom followed in the car. When you go alone to the hospital here, they are very mean and I wish I had a mini recorder on me. There were insults and snyde remarks and trying to start a fight and I could barely think, then when mom was finally allowed in to be with me, they were kind, because there was a witness there, so they dared not say anything. I was so happy that this is the first time in 10 years that they treated me quickly, took my pain seriously, called my family Dr. They decided the antibiotic was the wrong one, it should never be used in dental infections, it can even make the situation worse, and they told me to tell the dentist not to use it anymore. The Dr. said he gave me more painkiller than he had ever given anyone in his career, due to my high pain/drug tolerance and the nature of the pain. Trigeminal neuralgia is enough, it is called the suicide disease, then add on top of that bone pain, infection, skin graft right from area of the nerve, and lupus causing infection, and I was out of my head. He gave me a shot, then some pills to get me through the night until I could see my Dr. today. Called my Dr. today and he was not in the office, so I will see him tomorrow. I had to go bak to the ER today, same routine, the ambulance men were quite rude, and told me "we can't keep treating you!" I was so out of my head in pain that I thought.."If I can't get treatment when I am in this kind of pain, then I understand how people just kill themselves or walk out into traffic. YOU CAN NOT LIVE IN THAT KIND OF PAIN! I was writhing and rolling in pain and sobbing and my nerves were shot after so many days of that pain, so I was extra sensitive to every bump, every sound, light, etc. I could not even sit up for 8 days for more than a minute without almost passing out. The only reason I am able to type now is because of the painkillers which are stronger than morphine.
Tomorrow I will go out of town to my Dr. by laying on the back seat of the car. I hope the new antibiotics kick in soon and help. If they don't, it means the problem is something different than infection. I did feel like I would die, then thought of my husband in such danger, and wondered if one of us might die before we meet, and that this we are supposed to find out more about the visa, and maybe even both of us will die and have to meet in the spirit world. I don't know. Everything seems so dramatic in this pain and with family problems and every other problem, got credit cards used by fraudsters and about 5 other financial problems that must be straightened out. Just too much stress to handle in this condition. Will write more later.
Blessings, Sheila

Posted by Bluebirdy at 19:43 0 comments

Labels: faith, fibromyalgia, lupus, pain, prayer

Sunday, 4 November 2007

Set Clocks Back tonight...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Enjoy your extra hour of sleep tomorrow morning. ;o)

~~~~~~~~~~

Time is free,

and it is priceless.

You can't own it,

but you can use it.

You can't keep it,

but you can spend it.

Once you've lost it,

you can never get

it back ...

~*~ Harvey MacKay

Posted by Bluebirdy at 01:50 0 comments

Labels: faith, fibromyalgia, lupus, pain, prayer

Friday, 2 November 2007

EXTENDING MY LIFE EXPECTANCY

** Yesterday and today I have been laying flat, almost impossible to sit up, even with all my strong pain meds. I didn't know a person could stay conscious through this.Why is it that I go unconscious from high or loow blood sugar when my pain level is fine, and I could be using that time to get things done, but then when the pain is so severe that I can't believe a person can bear so much pain, I can't go to sleep even if I intentionally raise my blood sugar? It seems so cruel!

**SOMETHING IRONIC

**I learned something more about my health that indicated that I should have only 3 years to live. I held my head (which felt like it was going to explode), and tried not to laugh. My odds are getting better! Up until yesterday I had up to ONE year to live." ROFL. I plan to keep increasing the amount of years and health! I think Dr. Oz's book about simple ways to heal all our damage and care for ourselves, ways that have been known since the beginning of the human race, and only forgotten/not taught in the past few generations."You: Staying Young" by Dr. Oz. He has a bunch of other books too. I really hate the modern medical system and have been abused by doctors, but Dr. Oz talks more about natural healing, prevention, how the body works naturally, how to help it work at full capacity without drugs, etc. I will probably go through the library to get them. I'm going broke on books, and most libraries will order books for you if they don't have them, either through intra-library loan, or buying it. They are given a budget each year and if they don't spend it all, it gets cut for the next year, so they usually buy the item you want and then you are the first to read it.
**So? We are all going to die, and no one knows when. We could have a fatal accident. The amount of time does not matter. Its HOW you live that matters. Live in the moment. Enjoy things that you are seeing/smelling/touching/learning/hearing now. We all may leave this world within 10 years anyway due to the second coming of the Lord and the resurrection. I think it doesn't matter too much how much time you have left...I have never been afraid of death...but I have wished I had more help with the pain and with daily living needs and isolation. I've learned a lot through this scare of being told my life might be shortened. I am practicing not worrying...I am still working on that one, but the books about "how to live as if you are dying" and "ONE YEAR TO LIVE" AND "Man's search for meaning" really have helped make life make more sense.
**This week my hubby and I will hear from immigration about whether he can come or not, so we are eager to hear about that. I WANT HIM OUT OF THAT WAR/POVERTY ZONE! He is so brave, intelligent, loving, high morals, loves God, he could go so far if he could get out of there.I want to spend whatever time we have left together...and if possible, time after the resurrection also. We will see what God's will is on the matter when we get the letter from immigration. I know we all are too stressed. I hope we can all learn to handle stress and enjoy our lives. I love the saying "Be kind to others; they are hurting and just trying to survive, just like yourself."
Blessings to you all, I pray regularly for all of those who are in my life,
Bluebirdy

Posted by Bluebirdy at 18:38 0 comments

Labels: faith, fibromyalgia, lupus, pain, prayer

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