Jeremiah 29:11"For I know the plans I have for you"
declares the Lord,
"Plans to prosper you
and not to harm you.
plans to give you hope and a future."
No, I have not lost my husband to death (yet), but we have been devastated. THE GOV'T TOOK AWAY MY HUSBAND...and took his wife from him, and took our marriage, and our chance to be together.
I am trying to rest in the scripture verse in the picture above, but I am not feeling it strongly yet. I do feel the Lord's peace and comfort, but I am not sensing a lot of guidance like I usually do.
No one will need to ask about when my husband is coming anymore. He probably won't be coming. That will probably be a relief for all my friends.
I have pretty much just had my husband taken away from me. The Canadian government first promised to get him home to me within 8 months. Now it has been 6 years.
He was finally approved in April, and we were told "Any day now, you will get all the papers necessary." He is not a citizen of Canada, and because of their delays, and their torment and forcing us to repeat sending the same work 5 times, now they are saying that he has to start all over again, to get the right to come to Canada.
The embassy said that if we (or anyone else, meaning government leaders, lawyers, or even the Prime Minister) tries to write to the Canadian Embassy about us for any reason (for example to ask why they want it all again, or to tell them he has already been approved...or to tell them they HAVE all those documents, sent FIVE TIMES IN 6 YEARS)...that they do not have to respond to any letters about our case for 9 months. Their time estimates are always a lie. Every time they give us a time schedule, we have to at least double it. This means that pursuing my husband and I getting together could literally become a never-ending process.
Since I am the one required to do all the paperwork and talking to government leaders and going to court; and I have been getting sicker and sicker from the stress, I don't think my body will survive doing it again for years and years and years.
The embassy also said they will process our papers within 9 months AFTER we give them everything they ask for, so this could easily turn into 2-4 more years. They could keep this process going until it finally kills me, and the process would still not be done. They could keep me busy full time, making my heart failure worse and worse, so that if my husband is ever approved to be with me, he would have a complete invalid for a wife, or I could die shortly after he gets here; leaving him alone in a strange culture.
My husband, my future, my hope, my reason for living, gone. I am in mourning. All my work, worthless. Loss of health, all in vain now. All our hopes and dreams for the future, all our love, will never happen. I have drawers full of things I bought for him throughout the years for when he gets here. I can't even look at them now.
My options are, I can either work myself to death and they still might not be finished the process, or I can let my husband go and have a life, with a wife and children, which he deserves. Neither of those choices will bring peace. We are just distraught and heartbroken. I am not alone in this suffering, but it doesn't ease the pain. If you go to www.notcanada.com you will see tens of thousands of people who the Canadian government has destroyed their lives and their families and some even died from the stress; and immigration didn't care. Not just immigrants, but also people who were here but not yet citizens, who left the country for a while...or who were kept out of the country by Canada themselves, for no reason! HOW can a government stop processing a visa or take away the right to a visa after a JUDGE has already approved it??? I KNOW it must be against the law, but not even the Prime Minister himself can talk to the Embassy about it, because they have stated they will not answer ANY questions about our case for 9 months! If we get government leaders to confront them about it, they can make life harder for us than we ever imagined.
DO THEY WANT BRIBERY? Maybe in that area it is not against the law, I would bribe them for my husband; but they never sign a name or give me any idea who to talk to in order to know who to contact.
I wish I could sue the gov't for pain and suffering and fees and lying to us again and again and lawyer's fees and medical bills for procedures we will both need from stress induced illness.
We are mentally, spiritually and emotionally devastated, hurt and confused despite our love and trust in God through every step. This letter really turned our world upside down. Our minds and hearts and even our faith is spinning!
We know there have been many people in love in history that were not allowed to be together due to world politics...we just didn't think it would happen in this day and age. We have trusted God completely through this and given Him credit for every little advancement and achievement. We received his guidance, comfort and strength whenever we had fears, and we had spiritual experiences telling us we had a purpose for being together...but now we are wondering if this is God's plan, or an evil corrupt government's interference with what God wants. Since God hates divorce, he probably is NOT happy with what the government is doing to so many families.
If it is God's work, then we are no longer supposed to be together, but how could we have mistaken all the spiritual experiences and guidance from the Holy Spirit, and comfort and strength we got, that helped us through all the lies and delays and repeated demands for paperwork?
If it is the government's work, isn't God more powerful than a government? It's all so confusing....the only thing I can come up with is that the government delayed our reunion for so long, that I am no longer able to be a wife or no longer able to complete what my husband and I were supposed to complete together. Maybe there would only be misery and hardship for both of us.
BUT MISERY IS NOT HOW I IMAGINED OUR MARRIAGE AT ALL! I have lists of things I wanted to show him and fun things I wanted to experience with him and places to take him! I smile to even think of his smile when he would experience something new here.
You can't imagine how it tore me up to tell him that he would not be betraying me if he got remarried. He needs a wife and children. He has not had that yet. I have. You can't imagine how it tore HIM up to hear it...that after 6 years of sacrifice and worry for each other's life, after love as strong as the most loving couples in history...that he may have to move on and try to make a new life.
He is so deeply loving...I am so afraid he will think of suicide. I wish I could sue immigration for murder...his and mine. Mine from heart failure from their stress, and possibly his either from war or suicide or other stress related illnesses.
We have often talked about and researched other countries that maybe we could move to together, but due to lack of money, the time it would take to immigrate to another country, and my lack of strength to even sit up for 2 or 3 hours, that's not a possibility.
The torment has lasted too long. First torment of wondering when and if he will survive the war; my husband's torment whenever my life was in danger health wise; worrying when and if he will get here, when and if the government will follow through with their promises, and if I can be a good wife, or if I would make his life miserable by living with a sick wife, and now it continues with the torment of losing my husband. I just want to "go home".
In ancient times, certain criminals were punished by laying them on the ground, putting an old door on top of them, then putting really large stones on top of the door until the person was crushed to death. For the past many years, and especially since you have known me through my blog, you have been with me to help me bear each of the stones being put on the door with me underneath it. I think this is one of the biggest stones in my life. Losing my first husband without any clue that we had a problem, then having to leave my children in the USA while I moved to Canada, were the stones that did the most damage. I think most of us have many crises (multiple) that are like these stones, and yet we do not get the mercy of death; we are expected to even keep smiling and not yell out in pain, and not complain to others about it, and to continue life as if there is nothing wrong.
Well, now I am "crushed". I don't have the strength to put on any acts anymore. I would not have gotten this far without the help of our loving Savior and Heavenly Father and the Holy Spirit and whatever angels that were sent. I'm sure life WILL go on. I will keep waking up the next day. I have learned this through every life changing event, but I have not been able to pull myself out of the depression. I HOPE I will feel differently soon, but today, when this shock is so new, it feels as if I am just waiting to finish my time on this earth.
It is said that ALL things work for good for those who love the Lord, and I always saw that come true, so now I have to have faith that it is STILL true. There is a purpose for this letter...it's just a very tough decision whether to keep going on this same path of abuse by immigration, or to move on and try to make a life for ourselves.
This marriage has had enough suspense, romance, war, espionage,
and drama to make 3 James Bond movies, or a novel as huge as
"War and Peace". Too bad I don't have the strength to write it.
Thank you my loving gifts from God, my spiritual friends, for being my earth angels and strengthening me through all of the heavy stones placed upon me.
Bless you all, Sheila
(This is not the man that helped me)
