LOST MY HUSBAND??
Jeremiah 29:11"For I know the plans I have for you"
declares the Lord,
"Plans to prosper you
and not to harm you.
plans to give you hope and a future."
No, I have not lost my husband to death (yet), but we have been devastated. THE GOV'T TOOK AWAY MY HUSBAND...and took his wife from him, and took our marriage, and our chance to be together.
I am trying to rest in the scripture verse in the picture above, but I am not feeling it strongly yet. I do feel the Lord's peace and comfort, but I am not sensing a lot of guidance like I usually do.
No one will need to ask about when my husband is coming anymore. He probably won't be coming. That will probably be a relief for all my friends.
I have pretty much just had my husband taken away from me. The Canadian government first promised to get him home to me within 8 months. Now it has been 6 years.
He was finally approved in April, and we were told "Any day now, you will get all the papers necessary." He is not a citizen of Canada, and because of their delays, and their torment and forcing us to repeat sending the same work 5 times, now they are saying that he has to start all over again, to get the right to come to Canada.
The embassy said that if we (or anyone else, meaning government leaders, lawyers, or even the Prime Minister) tries to write to the Canadian Embassy about us for any reason (for example to ask why they want it all again, or to tell them he has already been approved...or to tell them they HAVE all those documents, sent FIVE TIMES IN 6 YEARS)...that they do not have to respond to any letters about our case for 9 months. Their time estimates are always a lie. Every time they give us a time schedule, we have to at least double it. This means that pursuing my husband and I getting together could literally become a never-ending process.
Since I am the one required to do all the paperwork and talking to government leaders and going to court; and I have been getting sicker and sicker from the stress, I don't think my body will survive doing it again for years and years and years.
The embassy also said they will process our papers within 9 months AFTER we give them everything they ask for, so this could easily turn into 2-4 more years. They could keep this process going until it finally kills me, and the process would still not be done. They could keep me busy full time, making my heart failure worse and worse, so that if my husband is ever approved to be with me, he would have a complete invalid for a wife, or I could die shortly after he gets here; leaving him alone in a strange culture.
My husband, my future, my hope, my reason for living, gone. I am in mourning. All my work, worthless. Loss of health, all in vain now. All our hopes and dreams for the future, all our love, will never happen. I have drawers full of things I bought for him throughout the years for when he gets here. I can't even look at them now.
My options are, I can either work myself to death and they still might not be finished the process, or I can let my husband go and have a life, with a wife and children, which he deserves. Neither of those choices will bring peace. We are just distraught and heartbroken. I am not alone in this suffering, but it doesn't ease the pain. If you go to www.notcanada.com you will see tens of thousands of people who the Canadian government has destroyed their lives and their families and some even died from the stress; and immigration didn't care. Not just immigrants, but also people who were here but not yet citizens, who left the country for a while...or who were kept out of the country by Canada themselves, for no reason! HOW can a government stop processing a visa or take away the right to a visa after a JUDGE has already approved it??? I KNOW it must be against the law, but not even the Prime Minister himself can talk to the Embassy about it, because they have stated they will not answer ANY questions about our case for 9 months! If we get government leaders to confront them about it, they can make life harder for us than we ever imagined.
DO THEY WANT BRIBERY? Maybe in that area it is not against the law, I would bribe them for my husband; but they never sign a name or give me any idea who to talk to in order to know who to contact.
I wish I could sue the gov't for pain and suffering and fees and lying to us again and again and lawyer's fees and medical bills for procedures we will both need from stress induced illness.
We are mentally, spiritually and emotionally devastated, hurt and confused despite our love and trust in God through every step. This letter really turned our world upside down. Our minds and hearts and even our faith is spinning!
We know there have been many people in love in history that were not allowed to be together due to world politics...we just didn't think it would happen in this day and age. We have trusted God completely through this and given Him credit for every little advancement and achievement. We received his guidance, comfort and strength whenever we had fears, and we had spiritual experiences telling us we had a purpose for being together...but now we are wondering if this is God's plan, or an evil corrupt government's interference with what God wants. Since God hates divorce, he probably is NOT happy with what the government is doing to so many families.
If it is God's work, then we are no longer supposed to be together, but how could we have mistaken all the spiritual experiences and guidance from the Holy Spirit, and comfort and strength we got, that helped us through all the lies and delays and repeated demands for paperwork?
If it is the government's work, isn't God more powerful than a government? It's all so confusing....the only thing I can come up with is that the government delayed our reunion for so long, that I am no longer able to be a wife or no longer able to complete what my husband and I were supposed to complete together. Maybe there would only be misery and hardship for both of us.
BUT MISERY IS NOT HOW I IMAGINED OUR MARRIAGE AT ALL! I have lists of things I wanted to show him and fun things I wanted to experience with him and places to take him! I smile to even think of his smile when he would experience something new here.
You can't imagine how it tore me up to tell him that he would not be betraying me if he got remarried. He needs a wife and children. He has not had that yet. I have. You can't imagine how it tore HIM up to hear it...that after 6 years of sacrifice and worry for each other's life, after love as strong as the most loving couples in history...that he may have to move on and try to make a new life.
He is so deeply loving...I am so afraid he will think of suicide. I wish I could sue immigration for murder...his and mine. Mine from heart failure from their stress, and possibly his either from war or suicide or other stress related illnesses.
We have often talked about and researched other countries that maybe we could move to together, but due to lack of money, the time it would take to immigrate to another country, and my lack of strength to even sit up for 2 or 3 hours, that's not a possibility.
The torment has lasted too long. First torment of wondering when and if he will survive the war; my husband's torment whenever my life was in danger health wise; worrying when and if he will get here, when and if the government will follow through with their promises, and if I can be a good wife, or if I would make his life miserable by living with a sick wife, and now it continues with the torment of losing my husband. I just want to "go home".
In ancient times, certain criminals were punished by laying them on the ground, putting an old door on top of them, then putting really large stones on top of the door until the person was crushed to death. For the past many years, and especially since you have known me through my blog, you have been with me to help me bear each of the stones being put on the door with me underneath it. I think this is one of the biggest stones in my life. Losing my first husband without any clue that we had a problem, then having to leave my children in the USA while I moved to Canada, were the stones that did the most damage. I think most of us have many crises (multiple) that are like these stones, and yet we do not get the mercy of death; we are expected to even keep smiling and not yell out in pain, and not complain to others about it, and to continue life as if there is nothing wrong.
Well, now I am "crushed". I don't have the strength to put on any acts anymore. I would not have gotten this far without the help of our loving Savior and Heavenly Father and the Holy Spirit and whatever angels that were sent. I'm sure life WILL go on. I will keep waking up the next day. I have learned this through every life changing event, but I have not been able to pull myself out of the depression. I HOPE I will feel differently soon, but today, when this shock is so new, it feels as if I am just waiting to finish my time on this earth.
It is said that ALL things work for good for those who love the Lord, and I always saw that come true, so now I have to have faith that it is STILL true. There is a purpose for this letter...it's just a very tough decision whether to keep going on this same path of abuse by immigration, or to move on and try to make a life for ourselves.
This marriage has had enough suspense, romance, war, espionage,
and drama to make 3 James Bond movies, or a novel as huge as
"War and Peace". Too bad I don't have the strength to write it.
Thank you my loving gifts from God, my spiritual friends, for being my earth angels and strengthening me through all of the heavy stones placed upon me.
Bless you all, Sheila
Reading your story my eyes are full of tears. I'm so, so sorry my dear friend.
Really I don't know what to say....
One thought comes to my mind.
Sometimes when we lost our hope, our faith,..., suddenly the light of hope appears.
I believe that God will give you solution. The best solution.
Be strong... and keep faith ...always. You'll win.
God bless!
MARIA said... Fri Dec 04, 07:07:00 am GMT-7
Oh Sheila:
I am so sorry -words cannot even express how I feel -I wish that I could be there to give you a hug and comfort you
You are always in my prayers
Love Mary Ann
Mary Ann Asbury said... Fri Dec 04, 08:07:00 am GMT-7
Hi Shiela,
I know the Lord has a purpose for all these. You have already done your best and all other things possible to do and now just leave it all to God. Let God be God in your life. Just be still and let God take care of everything for you. Forget everything that has happened. They will just make you feel depressed and drained. Still put your trust in God, much more now than you ever did before. We are just fragile pawns in the war of the heavenlies. You will still savor victory somewhere down the road. I will pray for you my friend. It's the only thing I can do for you. We may never understand all that is happening in our life but we can always trust God that He will give us what is best for us the way no earthly father ever can. Just wait for the Lord, be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. Your deliverance is at hand. Thanks for the post. God bless you all always.
Mel Avila Alarilla said... Fri Dec 04, 11:42:00 pm GMT-7
Maria, Mary Ann, THANKYOU FOR YOUR LOVE. How interesting that the first commenters were all names starting with "M".
Mel;
Thankyou x 10000. Your wise words were like a hug from a brother. We still have a very tough decision to make here though. They are asking for much more paperwork to continue the process, which Canada already approved. There should be no "process" to continue. I am praying hard to know whether I should keep continuing this unbelievable load of paperwork until the day I die or until my husband can get here, and if I should pursue it by contacting government leaders, etc. to straighten out the injustice and illegal things they are doing to us. I don't know if the Lord wants me to continue with this battle or to just drop it. I am praying and waiting for guidance.
Bless you Mel; you are such an incredible man...a Saint.
Sheila
Bluebirdy said... Sat Dec 05, 03:42:00 am GMT-7
Hang on in there Sheila
Keep the FAITH
I too have seen bad days
really BAD
but now the sun is shining again
HUGGSS
Jimmy said... Sat Dec 05, 04:07:00 am GMT-7
I know you have Jimmy. Thank you for the encouragement.
Bless you,
Sheila
Bluebirdy said... Sat Dec 05, 04:46:00 am GMT-7
Sheila, it is when you are weakest, that you are strongest. It is hard to believe at this point, but it is true. And more so for you for you are blessed with His Grace.
I will say an extra prayer for you to be strong.
God bless you.
tuti said... Sat Dec 05, 07:11:00 am GMT-7
"He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler." (Psalm 91:4)...... While the Lord covers us, we trust. It would be strange if we did not. How can we distrust when Jehovah Himself becomes house and home, refuge and rest to us?..."(Spurgeon)
"...This is the way to be safe. The Lord being ever in our minds, we come to feel safety and certainty because of His being so near. He is at our right hand to guide and aid us; and hence we are not moved by fear, nor force, nor fraud, nor fickleness. When God stands at a man's right hand, that man is himself sure to ...stand... Whom shall I fear?..."(Spurgeon)
Sita said... Sat Dec 05, 10:00:00 am GMT-7
The workings of the government are always a mystery no matter what country you are in it seems. I am so sorry for all the suffering you have been put through and I will add my prayers to all the others you are receiving. I truly hope everything is cleared soon for your and your husbands sakes.
Blessings
NightSeer
Nightseer said... Sat Dec 05, 11:46:00 am GMT-7
I just said a special prayer for you my friend with tears in my eyes. I know God is not deaf to our humble pleas. He will strengthen you and give you wisdom to discern what you must do. In the meantime, try not to focus on your own efforts but try to be sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit. As they say, the darkest hour is before dawn. Out of the seeming darkness of your situation right now, a twinkling of light will begin to seep in until your life is filled with the glorious light of God's mighty deliverance. Never waiver in your trust and faith in the Lord. Remember, He is always faithful and true and He will never be remiss in all His promises. God loves you so much and it hurts Him more to see you unnecessarily suffering. Open up your arms to His kingly embrace and feel the warmth of His love and grace flowing down in your body. Like Job, you will see the glory of God's deliverance in your life. Hold on dear friend, hold on. Let the singing of the entire heavenly host put a smile on your face. God bless you all always.
Mel Avila Alarilla said... Sat Dec 05, 01:46:00 pm GMT-7
Dear Sheila, sorry to hear this. You have suffered enough and prolonging it won 't help you. Its not worth it. Don 't put yourself throgh physical and mental anguish.
May God help you pass through this difficult process.
Amrita said... Sun Dec 06, 09:12:00 pm GMT-7
sheila, believe me, i may not be in your situation but i do know your pain. i koow how you might be feeling right now. i'm so sorry that you have to go through all these. believe me, bad things do happen to good people. but we serve a mighty God. He can turn thing s around for you. hold on to him, sister. He is your only hope. you've done everything you could, it's time to let God move. sheila, i know it's so hard. i know it's so easy to get mad and feel you've lost all hope. it sure looks like it. but remember our God has no boundaries. nothing is impossible with Him. there is a purpose for all these. and because God loves you so much, He will not let you stay in this rotten situation forever.
sheila, wait upon the Lord. He will make all things beautiful in His time. when you trust Him, you will never be at the losing end. remember, God can change this situation suddenly. just hold on to Him, sister.
(((HUGS)))
Pia said... Sun Dec 06, 09:53:00 pm GMT-7
sheila, i just said a prayer for you. God's will be done. hang in there, sis.
Pia said... Sun Dec 06, 09:57:00 pm GMT-7
sheila, it's me again. i thought you'd be blessed with this song.
http://www.piasjournal.com/2009/10/fearless-friday_30.html
Pia said... Mon Dec 07, 12:42:00 am GMT-7
I looked at www.notcanada.com and it looks like even if Fazal was allowed to get into Canada he would not be able to get work. It's sad the way the government is doing people, that are immagrating to the country with high hopes and then they can't support themselves. You'd have a better chance of getting into United States.
I feel so bad for you Sheila that you thought the fight and the paperwork were finally over, and to get let down like this.
All you can do is pray and keep your faith that everything will turn out for the better.
Your health doesn't need the stress this is putting you through, and it's almost impossible for you not to get all stressed out over this, but you must try to stay as calm as you can. Prayer will help you stay as stress free as you are able. You just have to turn it all over to God and pray that it all turns out for the best.
I'll be saying extra prayers for you my friend.
Love,
Helen
Helen said... Mon Dec 07, 10:42:00 am GMT-7
My dear!
Im feeling uneasy to hear all of the story, though i was the one who introduced you to ur husband. I remember once one of friend msgd me that why God empty our hands coz he wants to give us more and more. dont be dishearted evrything will be orit.
take care Sheilla
Liaqat
lawangin said... Mon Dec 07, 09:04:00 pm GMT-7
Sheila dear--I'm so sorry you have had this terrible setback to your hopes and dreams--I hope you do not give up as there is still no resolution to your husband's status,only the apparent stubbornness of the authorities in charge. There has been no final decision against you, only delays and subtle threats. So it seems to me that there is still some room for a miracle to happen...do not let these threats destroy your peace of mind, dear Sheila, all will work out, we never know how,though,
until it is upon us! Many loving wishes and prayers are sent your way, and the angels stand with you always...
Yes said... Mon Dec 07, 09:48:00 pm GMT-7
Thanks Firebird. i agree. Which ever way this turns out, it will be for our good, for ALL things work for good for those who love the Lord. I just have some questions about it all to ask the lord when I meet him. lol.
Blessings, Sheila
Bluebirdy said... Mon Dec 07, 10:09:00 pm GMT-7
Nightseer, welcome to the wonderful world of blogging! Thanks for the visit and the kind comment. Eager to read your first blog!
Sheila
Bluebirdy said... Mon Dec 07, 10:45:00 pm GMT-7
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