To update you, Lupus decided to attack my adrenal glands, which has been very tough to deal with for 4 months now. I will paraphrase an earlier post that mentioned it:
Despite many trips to the hospital, they could not find out what was making me have so much pain and feel so weak that I felt 90% dead. Finally the Lord inspired me to contact a naturopath (natural Doctor) that I dealt with online 5 years ago.She knew exactly what was wrong and what I needed to take for it. Adrenal exhaustion and adrenal crisis. If interested, google them please. Too weak to type much here right now. Adrenaline is what gives your body the strength to do ANYTHING , including thinking, breathing, digesting food, moving, pumping your blood throughout your body. No wonder I felt 90% dead.
The supplements helped really well in the beginning, but then I ran out of that brand and had to change brands, and the other brands have not worked as well, so it has been a very slow and hard and discouraging fight to reach even the low level of functioning I had before this happened. Still have not been able to find anyone to hire to help us with errands, etc. I'm not sure why the Lord is arranging our lives so that Mom and I are both so very alone (except for the blessing of having each other).
On a youtube video, I learned something new, that the constant problem of trying something new, and having it work for a short time, then stop working, is a classic sign of auto-immune disease. I get my hopes so high, thinking I get another shot at life, then get slapped down again. It almost made me lose hope, but now I know there's a physical reason for it, not a spiritual reason such as God stopping all the remedies from working.
Despite the horrid weakness and other lupus problems, I have been comforted by the Lord through it all. I don't know if I would exchange this closeness with God for anything, but couldn't there be a middle ground where I could be less helpless and still be close to the Lord? FRUSTIPATION! Lupus and fibromyalgia should be called the "Frustration diseases".
Thank you to all of you who continue to keep in touch with me off the blog. I just have not been thinking clearly enough to write anything at all worth posting.