Friday, 26 September 2008

PAIN! and finally, a GOOD hospital experience!

Photo by Jason Smith

I ended up in the E.R. again day before yesterday. I waited in pain in bed for a week, not wanting to deal with the abuse AGAIN...but finally the pain got too much and I went. It was such a good experience, it was a shock! Seems that so many things are turning around for me. New Dr,. found a remedy for fibro, maybe I'll find other remedies, a good hospital experience, knowing my husband is being protected no matter what. (And right now he has no utilities and no way to get out of that town to a place that DOES have utilities, so chaos will soon break out in that town, which I know he will be protected through, but so sad that he has to go through all of this.

On Wednesday I was treated so well it shocked me. I got in quickly, was seen quickly, given a good dose of medicine without the interrogation, and got out of there quickly. I think one reason is because my heart rate was so fast it scared them. The nurse said "Can your heart rate really be that fast?" I said "When my pain is this bad, it can be. My heart has stopped from this pain before." I have only had about 3 visits that good in 15 years. There were also signs on the walls that said "This hospital is an abuse and harassment free zone." So I wonder if finally that hospital was reported so many times that they got in trouble and had to start staff seminars about how to treat patients or something. Maybe because of the publicity of the man dying a few days ago in the E.R. waiting room after waiting 34 hours and not getting treatment, really put other E.R.s on their toes to really help people not go through that. The waiting room was almost empty, so maybe that story also scared a lot of people into staying home if they thought they would have to wait.

Some things are better since I started taking D-ribose. life is better since I found D-ribose. Life is brighter, more enjoyable. stress and pain are easier to bear. It seems to have helped my depression, diabetes, heart problems and fibromyalgia pain and fatigue...but unfortunately other health problems got worse because of overdoing and due to weather changes. The picture at the top just seemed so much like how I feel.

Lupus is such a horrendous disease. So little research is being done on it, and there are only 3-4 treatment options, all more dangerous than the disease, so we choose to just have each symptom treated as it occurs.

It is more painful than most cancer cases, lasts much longer, yet we are expected to carry on and keep our lives going,and to smile and not show our pain, and we very rarely are offered pain relief because of the fear of addiction. Doctors still don't realize that there is a difference between addiction and dependence, and that its very rare for a person with chronic severe pain to get addicted. Their body gets dependent on those meds, but not addicted. There is a scripture that says something like "There will be scourges where people will pray for death to take them, but death will not come." There are sure a lot of diseases that have developed in the past 15 years or so that fit that scripture, and lupus is one of them. The other day was Mom's 76th birthday, and i thought how very strong she is to go through this pain for so many years, and I can't imagine going through that pain for another 40+ years! I guess we do what we think we can't, one hour and one day at a time.

They named Trigeminal Neuralgia right when they named it the suicide disease. It truly is among the most painful things a human can bear, and I laid here for a week, choosing to suffer with that pain and try to wait for it to pass, rather than get more abuse from the E.R. I went to the clinic to see my new Dr. hoping she would be able to give me a pain shot, but she said they don't give pain shots in the clinics in town anymore, so I would STILL have to face the E.R. I found a support group for people who have been abused by medical staff, and I think I will joined it. It has really affected parts of my personality to not be able to avoid being abused again and again. It shows that it is happening A LOT if there is a world wide support group for it.

Got to quit for now. the pain is too much again. I have most of my readers in my prayer journal and I am praying for you.



What Do You Think about the Rapture?

~~~Awaiting Christ's Return~~~

What is your belief about a rapture? I've studied it for years and talked to others, and each person with a different belief has shown me through scriptures of how their belief is right, so I still don't know whether to believe in a rapture that comes before the tribulations (pre-trib) or one that comes after the tribulations. (post-trib). I used to think that was a fantasy, because of course people don't think they can bear to go through everything that was predicted...but then I read:

Luke 17: 34-36

34 I tell you, in that night there shall be two men in one bed; the one shall be taken, and the other shall be left.

35 Two women shall be grinding together; the one shall be taken, and the other left.

36 Two men shall be in the field; the one shall be taken, and the other left.

So now I know people will be taken off the earth, and I believe that it will be at the time of his return; because of this verse just above the others:
Luke 17:30 "Even thus shall it be in the day when the Son of man is revealed."

That means 'on the day the Savior shows Himself to us, and returns'. But with the fame of the book & movie series "Left Behind", the popular belief is that the most righteous people will be taken off the earth before the worst of the tribulation, and a few people have quoted me scriptures to make their point, which did make sense. I can't remember those verses, but I remember thinking that many verses could have been taken out of context and mistakenly used to apply to the verses above. I wonder why the Lord would have detailed so completely all the events that will happen in the last days, would have warned us, and told us to watch for those things to come to pass so we will know the time of the second coming is near, if those who love the Lord the most would not even be on earth to see those events, since they would be raptured? He offered us comfort for that time, and told us:
28 And when these things begin to come to pass, then look up, and lift up your heads; for your redemption draweth nigh.
    Why would he tell us this if those who study the scriptures the most will not even be on earth when it happens?

    That's why I think the rapture will be post- tribulation, but I would welcome any comments with scriptural proof that would help me understand why you believe we will be raptured pre-tribulation. Like most people, I hope and wish we could avoid the worst of the events before the second coming. Look at the tribulations so many people in the world are going through now. If they were going to be raptured pre-trib, wouldn't they be gone already? OH NO! That raises another thought! Maybe they WERE already taken and you and I ARE "Left Behind"! haha. COMMENTS WELCOME!!


    Wednesday, 24 September 2008

    Life is a Roller Coaster!

         Life is a roller coaster. I was up on the high parts for a while, then enjoying the ride as I went down, now I'm in the bottom parts for a while waiting for the gears on the roller coaster to slowly pull me up that steep slope again to the top.
        I am so thankful for some relief from one of my conditions, but I quickly found out that because I felt better, I started doing more than I have been able to do in years, and that made my other conditions flare up quite badly. I started wondering if it was Satan just trying to keep me flat on my back, but after much prayer, asking the Lord to remove Satan's influence from my life for a little while, the other health problems are still here, so now I know I am just paying for pushing myself too hard for too long.
    Family visits are precious memories! 
        My brother showed up at our doorstep a week ago, and it was a great surprise. I have only seen him about 5 times in 33 years. He was craving some foods that Mom used to make when he was a kid living here, so I went to the grocery store. It's a big store, so I had to use my walker, and since I have an injured shoulder, (tendonitis from leaning on my arm here in bed as I do my computer work) that was not working too well.
    I came home and spent the whole day cooking a bit, resting a bit,over and over, so it took all day to cook quite a simple dinner, then I crashed from pain after, and a week later I am still recovering. I tried to get some insulin from my Dr. because of the many hours a day I spend semi-conscious, in a deep sleep due to too high or too low blood sugar. The Dr. said that insulin would be dangerous for my particular diabetes problems, so I have to figure out some other methods to try to avoid the highs and lows. Most of this week though, when I was passing out, I checked my blood sugar, and it was fine...so there is more than one problem causing me to pass out. Maybe diabetes and my heart failure? I don't know. 
         When I start worrying, my blood sugar gets very high, and I pass out; and with the increased violence in my husband's area, I've been scared.
    My Husband is in greater danger!
         The Taliban caused the biggest bombing in Pakistan in history, and at the same time that they were in Islamabad doing that at the Marriott Hotel, other Taliban members were a few hundred miles north of there, bombing the power grid in the town where my husband is, so they will have no power for weeks or maybe months. I told him that if they are hitting utilities for some reason, next they would get the natural gas lines. At 4 in the morning his time, he called me and told me that they had just bombed the natural gas lines, and that there was also no water, because it takes electricity to run the pump to pump the water into the houses. The man that owns the house where my husband lives works at the power station and was blessed to escape with his life. There is a bit of bottled water in the stores, which people quickly bought out, but now the stores are closed because you can't see in those stores without electricity.
    Soon Chaos for hubby, and possible economic collapse for the world?
       There will be chaos there very soon. No power, no electricity, no heat, no water, and it's starting to get cold there. Winter is near. No one will be able to go to work, so no paychecks, so people will start stealing. They will have to go without their medications, if they have no money and no stores are open, so people will be getting very sick.
        A few hours ago my husband had another close call, almost getting shot in cross-fire. Yesterday his neighborhood got hit by mortar and parts of homes on his street are destroyed, and again he was protected! I am SO grateful for God protecting him. I hope that means he is being protected so he can come be with me, but if it's the Lord's will that we won't be together, I will know that too is for my best good, and though I will grieve, I will trust the Lord's decision. 
      Since my husband can't get out of that country, He is thinking about going to another province to stay in a motel, where he would have electricity so he could continue his job of doing translations on the internet, but he doesn't have the money, and no one can send him money because the Western Union office is closed because it can't function without electricity either. We were trying to get him transferred to Syria where he could be in a safe area and continue his internet work, but that too takes money, and would mean he needs to take someone with him as a roommate so he's not completely alone in a strange country. He only has a cell phone, so soon his battery on his cell phone will run down and we won't be able to talk to each other that way either. I bet the Taliban  will hit the telephone lines next. I think they are trying to make life so miserable for the people that when the chaos starts, they will step in and offer the people to help them get the utilities back if the people will make them the leaders, and since the people will be so desperate, they will think "ANYTHING would be better than what we are going through now", so they might give in to the Taliban.
    Taliban are NOT true Muslims!
        Because of the area where my husband lives, I have been studying Islam the whole time we have been dating and married, so I could know the culture and people that my husband would be surrounded by. The Taliban actually has no right to even call themselves Muslim. No "real" Muslim would be killing and making war during this holy month of Ramadan, bombing fellow Muslims who are praying in Mosques, no true Muslim would be killing women or children; it's against their religion, and so is suicide. They are claiming to do all these things in order to force people to live the laws of God perfectly, but they themselves are breaking every rule in their own holy book! They may have been raised as Muslims, but no Muslim would attack their own people/neighbors/ relatives like that. The world needs to know that they are not just out to hurt Westerners. They are hurting anyone the can! These guys are a scourge that need to be stopped! They are now recruiting girls and boys from age 10 and up to be suicide bombers! Yes, even girls! 99% of the schools they destroyed are girls' schools. So they don't want girls to be literate, but it's ok to make them into walking bombs. Islam is very centered on education for all. Muhammad talked about this constantly, and those Taliban/Muslims who forbid girls education are following tradition rather than God's word, according to their own prophet.
       I never dreamed I would have to deal with these horrible last days tribulations so closely. I knew these things would happen in the rest of the world, but thought I was safe in N. America. I never dreamed I would marry someone who would be going into that area, whose every fear and pain I would be sharing with him.
        Then yesterday when oil prices raised $25 a barrel in one day (biggest jump in history) and the PM of Israel resigned, (they have both a president and a prime minister) and the news announced that Russia will be aligning themselves with Iran in order to get as much oil as possible through the massive oil pipelines they just built from Iran to Russia, visions of all the biblical prophecies flashed through my mind, and made me realize that things are happening really fast now, and there are not too many more revelations left that need to come true, and then the Lord will return, and the day of resurrection.  I can hardly wait for that to happen, but I am a coward, I am not prepared to go through all the hard times that are supposed to hit between now and then. The fall of the economy is happening quickly. If you want to see what a economists have analyzed how past civilizations fell, and how compares them to the way the USA civilization is doing the same things that made past civilizations fall, go here to watch these videos about the fall of the economy.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RjALf12PAWc . It is predicted to be worse than in the 1930s depression, according to economists. It would be wise to start preparing now by storing food, being thrifty with money, and living in a more simplified way. "Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without."  It would be wise to learn how people lived before they had all the modern conveniences. Some authorities are even suggesting that we get our money out of the bank and to buy small gold and silver coins, because paper will have no value. Others say we are safe because each account in N. America is insured by the government for $100,000. But what if the country is bankrupt, or what if you can't even get into the bank because they close the doors? Then that insured account won't do much good. One person on TV said one idea was to split up your accounts into amounts of $100,000 each, so all your money would be protected, but there are still reasons to believe that even that might not be as secure as people think.
    The Lord Promises to Provide for us.
        In hard times, He may not provide everything you want, He may not even provide everything you THINK you need, but I have lived in poverty before, and He DID provide everything we needed to survive, then often he would provide something that we really wanted, like a gift from heaven.
    "When these things begin to take place, stand up and lift up your heads, because your redemption is drawing near."  Luke 21:28 NIV"
        CNN TV news station yesterday was talking about the coming crash. It's scary but the Lord promised to provide for us day by day, and that the lilies of the field don't worry what they will wear, and the sparrows don't worry what they will eat, yet God clothes and feeds them daily, and since He loves us so much more, he will help us too. I can see that more and more. Christians will get together and help each other out, and will trade with each other for things they need. I know many families who have been storing things all their lives. Some store cloth, some store spices, some store canned goods or grains, and have a wheat grinder, so if we could make a little community and share each other's talents and resources, we would do much better.
        The scriptures speak of a time when the whole world will have one monetary system, and if anyone takes on the numbers of that system (sign of the beast), he will be cast out of the kingdom of God, so there will be a LOT of people not able to buy and sell in the main economy, so the only way we will survive is for those  people to join forces somehow.
    The Legal battle to get my husband home:
       A long time ago, I wrote to some Canadian government leaders to try to get my husband home. I got a reply. I was told that since I have a lawyer, now my case in the court system and is all classified and confidential and they are not allowed to help me. I don't believe them, but I will keep trying to make them understand that my lawyer is not doing anything, and that I need someone to speed up the process. 
         It made me wish I could just hire some of those special forces who go into countries and rescue people who are being kept there against their will.
       I did get a phone call from a local member of parliament, though, and he seemed willing to do whatever he could for me if I write up an essay of the whole situation. So I hope that will go somewhere. Otherwise it looks like I need to find out the biggest person in this court system to talk to, to tell them that there is no reason for a 3-5 year delay to get my husband home. He is a civilian. If he was in the military, then he would have more rights and would have to be sent home after his time was up.
    I need to hire a novel writer.
       If I could write a book about this husband-wife relationship, it would be such a wild story of love, war, danger, governments, suspense, that no one would believe all these things could happen to one couple. They would say "this is fiction, and not even believable fiction. Your imagination is too wild." However, it is all true, and would need to be written in the form of a novel, with the words "based on real-life events." 
    Well if life is a roller coaster, and I was up so high, and now in the lower part, then soon I should be feeling the grinding teeth of the roller coaster pulling me back up pretty soon. What falls down, must go back up...on roller coasters, anyway. lol.
    Blessings, Bluebirdy  

    Tuesday, 23 September 2008

    More Proof of Canada's Insane Health Care System

    So now I know it is not just a local problem that we get insulted and abused and neglected and mistreated when we go to the E.R. alone, but when we have a "witness" or advocate go with us, then we are treated faster, kinder and we are taken more seriously. All this week I have needed E.R. treatment, but stayed home because I have no one to take me, and I don't feel good enough to defend myself and fight to get help like I have to when I go alone. Yesterday I even considered paying one lady her fee of $30 an hour to go with me. She runs errands for people at that price, but I thought if they keep me there 8+ hours like usual, I really couldn't afford it, so stayed home and sufferd again. If that man had someoene to go with him, they could have advocated for him to get someone in there to help him sooner, and they would have noticed when he passed out or got worse. Notice the "quiet one" (actually unconscious) got no care. If you are not well enough to be loud and demand help, or have someone with you who will do that for you, you won't get it. This is one of the richest countries in the world, one of the most industrialized and advanced...yet people are suffering which chronic illnesses without getting any help, and dying while waiting in E.R.s. Insanity.

    Sunday, 21 September 2008

    For HUSBANDS With a Chronic Illness

    I think this book has got to be the only book written by a husband with chronic illness. It's called "Life Interrupted-It's not all about me" by Chris Tatevosian.

    In order to help couples deal with illness and have a good marriage, there is a great need not only for couples who will write more about how they get through life, but a need for men to open up about their circumstances as well. Marriages with one or both partners sick has an astonishing divorce rate of 85%. It doesn't have to be this way! If more people would write about how to help marriages survive under intense conditions, if we could get some acknowledgement and some instructions on how to deal with certain circumstances, we could improve those odds greatly!

    Why don't men write about their illness? All the chronic illness books I have, were written by women except for one by Tim Hansel called "You've Got to Keep Dancin". I think when men get a life changing illness, they are so deeply hurt, and their sense of self is destroyed so much, that they don't even know what to say, and they think that talking won't solve anything, so they stay silent. They don't want to seem weak by admitting they have any flaw or weakness. Most men rarely want to admit that they are only human. Not only will they not admit it, but they usually refuse to read anything that might make their life better. Thank goodness, Chris Tatevosian has broken his own silence and can see his life clearly for what it is. This book is available through any online bookstore such as Amazon, Alibris, Chapters, Borders, and many others, and through the MS Society website. If you buy from the MS site, some of the money goes to help MS patients and research. I bought the e-book because in Canada, the shipping for a book is usually more than the cost of the book. This very intelligent and emotionally aware man can see the whole picture, and how his illness affects the whole family, not just himself. He is able to go outside of himself and try to meet the needs of others in his life; and by so doing, he gets that love, respect and friendship in return. He has an easy-going way of writing that makes you think you are sitting in his living room listening to his story. He is not ashamed to admit that he has made some mistakes, and not to proud to keep from learning from those mistakes. He admits he's not perfect, but at least this book is some kind of voice to the men who are ill. That seems to be such an isolated sector of society. Men who are ill seem to have no one to talk to, no one to understand how deeply this affects who they feel they were created to be. I am very thankful to Chris for exposing his very painful life. A famous writer, when asked how to become a great writer, stated "Just open a vein and write". That's about how hard it is to get to the deeper parts of our soul and share them with others., and to have a book of depth and perception.

    This book is a wonderful tool for wives as well, to understand how a man's mind works, and what he is trying to sort out when he gets a permanent illness.

    Chris has his own website with many categories in it to help you learn more about his book and story. He has given multiple radio interviews, and he can tell you where to read the archives of those interviews if you go to his site. He is VERY entertaining and upbeat. He is a great example to all of us who are trying to get through one hour at a time. I'm sure he'd also want me to give a lot of credit to his care-giving wife; who takes care of all of his physical and emotional needs with a loving heart. It's not easy to do that and earn a living as well. Please go to his website and get to know this ground-breaking man. http://www.lifeinterrupted-nolonger.com/ I hope because of Chris' example, more men will write about how to deal with life, how to make live livable and pleasant even with limitations and pain.

    I'm a big fan, Chris!


    Friday, 19 September 2008


    Help Americans who are suffering get the respect and
    help that they deserve, without the abuse. Most of the
    links below are clickable so you can read more about the
    bill, the American Pain Foundation, and how you can
    become involved in helping them from your home if you
    wish. I hope that soon we can get such an agency in Canada.
    I know that without this agency, when I lived in the USA I
    could not have gotten the pain control that I needed, and I
    don't know what would have happened to me, living in
    so much pain that I would have been an invalid without a
    supportive husband and with my family 1000+ miles away.
    American Pain Foundation. Dedicated to the elimination of the undertreatment of pain.

    APF logoanimation

    Home About Us Contact Us Support Us Donate Now button

    National Pain Care Policy Act of 2008

    URGENT REQUEST: National Pain Care Policy Act is GOING
    FOR VOTE in the House of Representative


    We are near the finish line! The amended National Pain
    Policy Act of 2008 (HR 2994) has been passed
    by the House Energy and Commerce Committee.
    will now go to general vote by the full House of
    Representatives. It is critical that you
    contact your Representative to ask for their support for this
    legislation that will affect so many people living with pain.

    For more information please see the following links:

    NOW is the time to TAKE ACTION!
    We are so close!

    Thank you for taking the time to support people with pain.

    Get involved! If you would like to be involved in further
    advocacy efforts, please complete the Advocacy Survey.

    Friday, 12 September 2008

    Another Article Published

    Here is an acceptance letter that I got from a website. I guess this makes almost 150 of my articles that have been put on websites or in magazines. Take a look at the link if you are interested.


    Dear Sheila,

    I wanted to let you know that the Webmaster here has posted your essay, "Enjoy the Fall," in the Creative Corner section of the LupusNow website. It can be viewed here:



    We'll get the other two essays posted in the next round!




    Jenny Thorn Allan

    Lupus Now Editor/Publications Director

    Lupus Foundation of America, Inc.

    2000 L St. NW, Suite 710

    Washington, DC 20036

    Phone: (202) 349-1147

    Fax: 202-349-1156






    Sunday, 7 September 2008

    I found something that helps fibromyalgia!


    Hi fellow fibro-mites or fibro-mates or whatever you want to call yourselves. I have had such a dramatic improvement that I would feel like I am being very ungrateful if I didn't share my great help with others.

    My sister came to visit today from out of town, and she said she could not believe the difference in how well I move and walk and that I even breathe easier and look better. I went to 4 stores with her, without a cane or walker. I have not done that in almost 8 years! I am giving credit to D-Ribose, a substance that is naturally in our bodies, but they have found people with auto-immune diseases and also multi-system diseases such as fibro, Lyme-disease, gulf war syndrome, chronic fatigue syndrome, are very low on this. It helps oxygen and nutrients get directly to the individual cells. It has cut the pain and fatigue caused from fibro in half, and increased my endurance. (Too bad it can't cut ALL my pain and fatigue in half from all my conditions.) I am hoping that with continued use, that will improve even more. It is completely natural, no side affects and no drug interactions except for insulin or diabetic medications, because it does lower your blood sugar if you are diabetic, which is a good thing. It has also done that for me.

    If you try it, don't give up too soon. I took it for 3 weeks and I am not patient so I was ready to quit after 1 week, but that little voice inside told me to keep trying, since I had no bad side affects (and it seems I react to almost everything). After 3 weeks, it kicked in one morning and I woke up breathing easier and without as much burning an pain in my muscles. I take one in the morning, then about 3 or 4 p.m. when everyone seems to fade or slow down or reach for caffeine or candy or chocolate, I take one again, and I am ready to go again, as soon as it kicks in!

    I pray that even one of you will have the changes that I have had! I know most of us have more than one disease, so this won't cure us, but it sure will make everything easier if even 50% of our fibro pain and fatigue is helped, won't it?
    Blessings to you all!

    Saturday, 6 September 2008


    This picture reminds me of Matthew 4:6 which says:

    "He shall give his angels charge concerning thee: and in their hands they shall bear thee up, lest at any time thou dash thy foot against a stone. "
    The Lord is protecting my husband so much! When I get time I will have to tell you all the close calls he has had and was saved from...but in a way I don't want to, because they are so dramatic, I don't think people should have to ever see or remember such terrible events that go on in war.
    I have been thanking the Lord so much this week for my new found feeling of not being completely abused like all patients with lupus and fibromyalgia seem to be, and for this week's protection.

    Adventure #1 he was protected in:
    Last weekend my husband was walking to a restaurant. On his right was a hotel with a river behind it. On his left was the street. Suddenly the Taliban and army started shooting each other on the street he was on, so he and his friend ran to the river bank, to get behind the hotel, to escape any bullets. Right then, the river bank was bombed and 100 feet or so were on fire. He said he was running toward the bombed area when the bomb hit, so he should have shrapnel damage or should have been blasted off his feet, or should have been burned by the fire, but he wasn't. He had to get away from the flames but couldn't run back toward the street where he would get caught in cross fire, so he and his friend tried to protect themselves from the heat of the huge fire by hugging the side wall of the hotel. Bullets were flying past him, and the heat of the fire was started to bubble the material the wall was made of. I asked why he didn't get on the ground and he said that was all huge boulders used as garden decoration. Being that high off the ground would have made him prone to the bullets.

    Adventure #2 protected from:
    Then on Tuesday he got a high fever, and remembered being bitten by a mosquito. Malaria is very common there, so he started taking anti-malarial pills until he could get to a Dr. We prayed and prayed that he wouldn't have Malaria. I can't imagine me disabled with my illnesses, and him disabled with recurring bouts of malaria. On Friday he went to get a malaria blood test, and he doesn't have it after all! THANKYOU LORD! He has a sinus infection. People there are getting a lot of lung infections and sinus infections, because when bombs explode a place, everything that was in the place, everything the building was made of, and even people inside just turn into mist that hangs in the air, and people inhale it, and get infections from it.

    Adventure #3 and #4 saved from:
    Yesterday and today there were earthquakes of 5.7 on the Richter scale, and some houses and shop's roofs fell in, but he is fine.
    I can only hope the Lord is protecting him so we can spend whatever time we have left together. I think the end times are closer than most people realize, and none of us knows how much time we have left on this earth, & with my health threats, I am just hoping to get to enjoy some time with him before life is over.

    A Program for you to try

    Do any of you see scripture references in emails or on blogs or other places online, and wish there was an easy way to know what that scripture says, without having to go find your Bible and look it up? There IS an easier way! www.instaverse.com is free, has no malware, adware or viruses to put on your computer, and whenever your mouse rolls over a scripture reference, the scripture pops up in a little box beside your mouse! It's so nice to have! Makes scripture study so easy! ENJOY!

    Wednesday, 3 September 2008

    After the test of your faith...

    "After the test of your faith,
    THEN cometh the reward!"
        I thought that was a scripture, but after looking it up, I can't find it anywhere, so I don't know where it comes from but I have heard it all my life, and today it's true.
       I've been looking for a new Dr. for a couple of years, as my Dr. is gone 6 months a year and only works 2 afternoons a week because he's recovering from cancer, and he doesn't have hospital privileges if I get really sick. I had been through the mill, going to 17 doctors who all decided to yell at me, insult me, within the first 2 minutes of our meeting, as soon as they learned I was being treated for severe, intractable pain. They all blamed me for seeking for drugs, instead of looking at me as a person in severe pain, who had been MORE than careful with any pain medicine I had been given, and actually take much less than I am told to take.
        Well, today was an appointment with another Dr... so I prayed for strength for the coming abuse, and had thought about it for the 2 months that this appointment had been set up for. I was especially afraid because the only woman doctors I had ever met were VERY tough and mean, maybe because they had to be that way to get through a medical school full of only men. That was many years ago that I met those woman doctors though, and I'm sure there are a lot more women in medical school now, thank heaven.
         All weekend I had such a wonderful, peaceful, spirit filled time, full of whisperings from the Holy Spirit, and guidance, and comfort, and insights. It was WONDERFUL and so I asked the Lord to please let it carry on into today, and for Him to carry me through today, no matter what I had to face. I really doubted if I could go through 10+ more doctors' abuse, and I think the Lord knew it. It has started to affect me like being abused again and again by a spouse, but I can't divorce this abuse, because I can't divorce my condition. I have a condition that a Dr. needs to take care of...and most of them in this country are impatient and uncompassionate about chronic illness. 
         Anyway, I digress...THE GOOD NEWS IS....
      This doctor was so wonderful I could have broken down in tears of relief right in her office, but I was too happy to cry. She is the sweetest, small town girl who became a Dr. and is VERY good because she had to treat every condition while working for years in a small town. She doesn't have a problem with treating my pain or multiple other conditions at all, like others who told me they can't handle more than one symptom at a time! She's so kind, I think I'll ask mom to also go to her. Mom's Dr. is the same as mine. I am so very humbly thankful to Him for this gift/miracle.
        Miracle #2. I had heard that one grocery store delivered. I called and they said yes they deliver if you come pick out your food first. I said that Mom and I were homebound and couldn't come in, is there anyone who would be willing to shop for us, then they could deliver? She put me on hold, talked to the supervisor, then came back and said "Give us your names. We've decided that for you two, we will do the shopping and delivering. Just ask for the manager and tell him your name and remind him of our arrangement." SO NOW WE HAVE HELP TO GET GROCERIES! We don't eat much, but it shopping has been a job too big for either of us.

    Monday, 1 September 2008


    Hi there. I found a website that has tons of helps and links to other things on the web for people trying to live with pain.
    Some of my favorites are:
    1) Check out The Intractable Pain Patient's Handbook for Survival by Dr. Forrest Tennent.  Download a copy here:  http://www.ppmjournal.com/PDFs/PPM_Jan07_48-53_Kannerstein.pdf
    2) Here's a wonderful resource to help the people who care about you.  Surviving a Loved One's Chronic Pain by David Kannerstein, PhD and Sarah M. Whitman, MD.  Download a copy here: http://www.pain-topics.org/pdf/IntractablePainSurvival.pdf
    3) This page has 101 of these helps and other helps for people with severe chronic pain.

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