Friday, 30 November 2007
Wednesday, 28 November 2007
Posted by Bluebirdy at 17:47
Friday, 23 November 2007
To top it off, my Dr. told me to double my pain meds last time I saw him, so I did, and so now I need a refill, and he insists I am asking for them too soon, and doesn't remember telling me to double the dose, so I am going through the hardest part of my life with intolerable pain! God showed me last week that he can take away the pain completely if he wants, so I hope He will do that again so I can help my family through this. Here is a pic of my fuzzy looking sweet grandson. They say he has curly black hair. Well the mom and Dad are dark blonde and red hair, so that's strange! My Dad had black hair and almost latino dark skin, so I like guys with dark skin. Maybe my grandson's black hair came through my Dad's genes. I am the only blonde on both sides of the family, except for a great grandfather, so maybe that's where I got my hair color too.
What a precious father. It will hurt so much to be without him, but it was hurting worse to lay here and know he was suffering and that I couldn't do much to help. I am thanking our loving Heavenly Father for the time that I did get to be with my Dad. What a blessing he has ALWAYS been.
Posted by Bluebirdy at 23:48
Thursday, 22 November 2007
Posted by Bluebirdy at 10:16
Wednesday, 21 November 2007
So my miracle was timed perfectly so that I could help with this crisis. I walked 4 miles a day the past 2 days. I wear my pedometer to measure....but today, I can't walk and struggling to even roll over. I have tried since Monday to get my Dr. to refill my medicine over the phone, but he insists that I come out there. So I will have to go without my diabetes medicine and muscle relaxant, which is not going to make this any easier.
Posted by Bluebirdy at 10:45
Sunday, 18 November 2007
Posted by Bluebirdy at 17:07
Saturday, 17 November 2007
Posted by Bluebirdy at 21:10
Friday, 16 November 2007
Posted by Bluebirdy at 15:12
Monday, 12 November 2007
Oh Heavenly Father, our protector and guide, You are the greatest Friend
and joy we have! To be able to come to You in prayer like this is the
most beautiful part of our lives!
It is not for myself that I want to pray today, dear Father, but for
those who are near and dear to me and about whom I worry. You know
what they are facing, dear Father. And You know most of all the deepest
reasons why these things have come upon them!
And You know how I want to help. Truly I think it would be easier if I
could only face what they are facing. But You know how helpless we are
to help another even though we know what is just and right.
Only You are left, dear Father. Do be with them in all things at all times.
Protect them from enemies and evil, my Father. Forgive them their
sins and put love of others in their hearts.
Oh do make them happy in their lives at home, dear Father, and help them
live as You wouldst have them live. Above all, put in their hearts
Love for You.
And thank You, my Father, for Your goodness to them and to me. Thank You
for Your love and guidance and protection! May we honor you all the days
of our lives. And be happy and uplifted even as I feel right now!
-- Author Unknown
Posted by Bluebirdy at 18:49
Posted by Bluebirdy at 11:01
Sunday, 11 November 2007
Posted by Bluebirdy at 10:45
Saturday, 10 November 2007
Couldn't lift my head all day. Had enough water beside me to take pills, but made a big mess because I couldn't lift my head when drinking. So frustrated. So much pain. Just want to disappear. God please make this stop. Please let me start a new life, (there's SO MUCH I WANT TO DO!!!) or please take me home. I can't beat level 10+ pain much longer, alone, and can't bear the thought of not being helpful to anyone. Please God, make it stop. Hold me, comfort me, help me, remind me you love me. *sob* Bless everyone in my life, thankyou for my many many luxuries and blessings. I know things could be worse. Please talk to me Father in Heaven, comfort me, strengthen me. I love you so much.
In the name of your precious son, Amen
Posted by Bluebirdy at 22:18
"TN (Trigeminal Neuralgia) is a nerve disorder of unknown origin that causes sudden shock-like facial pains, typically near the nose, lips, eyes or ears. It is said to be the most excruciatingly painful human condition in the world."
Posted by Bluebirdy at 22:13
Thursday, 8 November 2007
Bluebirdy (who is a little blue lately.)
Posted by Bluebirdy at 21:38
of Pakistan, Swat, is where Bluebirdy's husband works as a translator.
She has called it "the most dangerous city on earth." I am
posting this article not for any political discussion but to give you
all some background about what Bluebirdy and her husband are dealing
with. And of course, let's keep Bluebirdy's husband in our prayers that
he stay safe.
Pakistan fighting wrong enemy
Taliban seize post as police busy beating lawyers
As police beat up lawyers outside courthouses in Pakistan yesterday,
Islamist radicals seized three police stations and a military post in
the town of Matta in the picturesque Swat valley, just a few hours'
drive northwest of Islamabad.
The two images capture the conflict raging in Pakistan.
In Swat, the radicals hoisted black and white jihadi flags over the
captured security buildings and vowed to establish a system of shariah
law in the mountainous region frequently described as the "Switzerland
of South Asia."
Rejecting a British-style justice system they see as foreign,
expensive and corrupt, the rebels, who regard themselves as Pakistani
Taliban, are determined to create a thuggish theocratic state.
In urban Pakistan, meanwhile, up to 3,000 of the country's 12,000
lawyers have been jailed since Saturday as President Pervez Musharraf
moves to crush all opposition to his declaration of a national state
The President claimed to put the country under martial law to stem a
surge in terrorism and extremism.
However, the chief targets of the security forces during the past four
days have been Pakistan's Supreme Court, lawyers, opposition
politicians, human rights activists and a muzzled press.
It is perhaps not surprising that Gen. Musharraf's crackdown on
"judicial activism" has been counterbalanced by an expansion of
Taliban influence in the troubled tribal areas.
Instead of curbing Islamic extremism, the state of emergency may aid
an insurgency by fighters allied with al-Qaeda and the Taliban. As
security forces beat and gas pro-democracy and pro-Western dissidents,
they have little energy or time for counterinsurgency operations.
Instead of hunting terrorists, police are focused on arresting lawyers
who object to suspension of the rule of law.
Yet after eight years in power with virtually no restraints,
Pakistan's military has done little to quash discontent in the tribal
areas bordering Afghanistan.
In that time, domestic terrorism has increased. Foreign and homegrown
jihadis flocked to sanctuaries in northwestern Pakistan, where alQaeda
and a resurgent Taliban plot and prepare for a comeback.
The military has suffered a series of humiliating defeats at the hands
of radicals, whose latest victory in Swat came when more than two
dozen police and soldiers offered no resistance.
After being paraded in public and declaring they "did not want to
fight these Muslim brothers who are striving for the enforcement of
Islamic shariah," they were allowed to go home.
It's a pattern that's been repeated since August, when more than 250
government troops surrendered to a smaller group of terrorists in
Waziristan without firing a shot.
There are suggestions the mass surrenders indicate the military's
growing disillusionment with Gen. Musharraf. Reluctant to fight their
fellow countrymen in a war that is portrayed as something ordered by
Washington, some rank-and-file soldiers simply give up.
Senior officers have always been ambivalent about fighting Islamist
radicals. Many still regard the Taliban as former allies and a hedge
against U.S. and Indian influence in Afghanistan.
As a result, the homegrown terrorists who have hidden Osama bin Laden
and the Taliban's top leaders since 2001 are no longer restricted to
the untamed border regions. They have infiltrated more settled areas
and the largest cities.
In Swat, a previously quiet tourist district, fighters respond to the
exhortations of Maulana Fazlullah, a former madrassa student who
rallies supporters through his pirate FM radio station.
His followers, backed by fighters from Uzbekistan, Afghanistan and
Waziristan, have succeeded in driving government authority from the
region. They have closed a half-dozen girls' schools and regularly set
up checkpoints and direct traffic.
They have set fire to shops selling Western music and Indian films and
beaten barbers who shave beards. More recently they blew up one of
Swat's top tourist attractions a 1,300-year-old carving of a seated
Buddha cut into a 45-metre-high rock face.
"The military-led government will be hard put to show results and
convince the world and the Pakistani people that enforcement of the
emergency has paid dividends and helped make gains against the
militants," an editorial in the Karachi newspaper Dawn predicted
"The world would not be wrong in coming to the conclusion the generals
used the war on terror as a ploy to strengthen their stranglehold over
Posted by Bluebirdy at 21:32
Wednesday, 7 November 2007
Been laying in intolerable pain for 8 days. I got a break for 1 day so I could shower and wash clothes, then next day (yesterday) it was even worse. I started my third batch of antibiotics which are suposed to be the strongest there is (zithromax). I waited here in pain for so long, unable to eat or get a drink, just sipping water with my pills. Morphine didn't even work, so called my Dr. and he told me to go to the E.R. The ambulance came, mom followed in the car. When you go alone to the hospital here, they are very mean and I wish I had a mini recorder on me. There were insults and snyde remarks and trying to start a fight and I could barely think, then when mom was finally allowed in to be with me, they were kind, because there was a witness there, so they dared not say anything. I was so happy that this is the first time in 10 years that they treated me quickly, took my pain seriously, called my family Dr. They decided the antibiotic was the wrong one, it should never be used in dental infections, it can even make the situation worse, and they told me to tell the dentist not to use it anymore. The Dr. said he gave me more painkiller than he had ever given anyone in his career, due to my high pain/drug tolerance and the nature of the pain. Trigeminal neuralgia is enough, it is called the suicide disease, then add on top of that bone pain, infection, skin graft right from area of the nerve, and lupus causing infection, and I was out of my head. He gave me a shot, then some pills to get me through the night until I could see my Dr. today. Called my Dr. today and he was not in the office, so I will see him tomorrow. I had to go bak to the ER today, same routine, the ambulance men were quite rude, and told me "we can't keep treating you!" I was so out of my head in pain that I thought.."If I can't get treatment when I am in this kind of pain, then I understand how people just kill themselves or walk out into traffic. YOU CAN NOT LIVE IN THAT KIND OF PAIN! I was writhing and rolling in pain and sobbing and my nerves were shot after so many days of that pain, so I was extra sensitive to every bump, every sound, light, etc. I could not even sit up for 8 days for more than a minute without almost passing out. The only reason I am able to type now is because of the painkillers which are stronger than morphine.
Tomorrow I will go out of town to my Dr. by laying on the back seat of the car. I hope the new antibiotics kick in soon and help. If they don't, it means the problem is something different than infection. I did feel like I would die, then thought of my husband in such danger, and wondered if one of us might die before we meet, and that this we are supposed to find out more about the visa, and maybe even both of us will die and have to meet in the spirit world. I don't know. Everything seems so dramatic in this pain and with family problems and every other problem, got credit cards used by fraudsters and about 5 other financial problems that must be straightened out. Just too much stress to handle in this condition. Will write more later.
Posted by Bluebirdy at 19:43
Sunday, 4 November 2007
Enjoy your extra hour of sleep tomorrow morning. ;o)
Time is free,
and it is priceless.
You can't own it,
but you can use it.
You can't keep it,
but you can spend it.
Once you've lost it,
you can never get
it back ...
~*~ Harvey MacKay
Posted by Bluebirdy at 01:50
Friday, 2 November 2007
** Yesterday and today I have been laying flat, almost impossible to sit up, even with all my strong pain meds. I didn't know a person could stay conscious through this.Why is it that I go unconscious from high or loow blood sugar when my pain level is fine, and I could be using that time to get things done, but then when the pain is so severe that I can't believe a person can bear so much pain, I can't go to sleep even if I intentionally raise my blood sugar? It seems so cruel!
**I learned something more about my health that indicated that I should have only 3 years to live. I held my head (which felt like it was going to explode), and tried not to laugh. My odds are getting better! Up until yesterday I had up to ONE year to live." ROFL. I plan to keep increasing the amount of years and health! I think Dr. Oz's book about simple ways to heal all our damage and care for ourselves, ways that have been known since the beginning of the human race, and only forgotten/not taught in the past few generations."You: Staying Young" by Dr. Oz. He has a bunch of other books too. I really hate the modern medical system and have been abused by doctors, but Dr. Oz talks more about natural healing, prevention, how the body works naturally, how to help it work at full capacity without drugs, etc. I will probably go through the library to get them. I'm going broke on books, and most libraries will order books for you if they don't have them, either through intra-library loan, or buying it. They are given a budget each year and if they don't spend it all, it gets cut for the next year, so they usually buy the item you want and then you are the first to read it.
**So? We are all going to die, and no one knows when. We could have a fatal accident. The amount of time does not matter. Its HOW you live that matters. Live in the moment. Enjoy things that you are seeing/smelling/touching/learning/hearing now. We all may leave this world within 10 years anyway due to the second coming of the Lord and the resurrection. I think it doesn't matter too much how much time you have left...I have never been afraid of death...but I have wished I had more help with the pain and with daily living needs and isolation. I've learned a lot through this scare of being told my life might be shortened. I am practicing not worrying...I am still working on that one, but the books about "how to live as if you are dying" and "ONE YEAR TO LIVE" AND "Man's search for meaning" really have helped make life make more sense.
**This week my hubby and I will hear from immigration about whether he can come or not, so we are eager to hear about that. I WANT HIM OUT OF THAT WAR/POVERTY ZONE! He is so brave, intelligent, loving, high morals, loves God, he could go so far if he could get out of there.I want to spend whatever time we have left together...and if possible, time after the resurrection also. We will see what God's will is on the matter when we get the letter from immigration. I know we all are too stressed. I hope we can all learn to handle stress and enjoy our lives. I love the saying "Be kind to others; they are hurting and just trying to survive, just like yourself."
Blessings to you all, I pray regularly for all of those who are in my life,
Posted by Bluebirdy at 18:38
**Dr. Michael Roizen and Dr. Mehmet Oz wrote a series of books. One is "You: The Owner's manual" they showed us how bodies work in general, and in YOU: On a Diet, they explained how bodies lose weight and stay fit; both books have sold in the millions. Now, in YOU: Staying Young, the doctors are going to talk to you about what happens as your body ages. As with their previous books, they've conducted tireless research and will introduce fascinating and crucial information in an unforgettable way.
** Most people think of the aging of our bodies the same way we think of the aging of our cars: The older we get, it's inevitable that we're going to break downit could be in just a few ways or it could be in dozens of ways. Most of us hold this notion that once we reach 40 or so, we begin the slow and steady decline of our minds, our eyes, our ears, our joints, our arteries, our libido, and every other system that affects the quality of life (and how long we live it).
**But according to Dr. Roizen and Dr. Oz, that's a mistake. Aging isn't a decline of our systems. It's actually very purposeful. The very systems and biological processes that age us are actually designed to help us when we're a little bit younger. So what's our role as part of the aging population? To learn how those systems work, so we can reprogram them to work the way they did when we were younger. Your goal should be: Die young at any age. That means you live a high quality of life (with everything from working joints to working genitals) until the day you die. Because the doctors' real goal isn't just to make you live longer; it's to allow you to maintain vibrancy throughout your entire life. "
Posted by Bluebirdy at 14:42
Thursday, 1 November 2007
We must endure the sorrow to appreciate the joy.
I have sort of a miracle to announce! I am a bit scared to say it out loud in case its just a temporary improvement or in case I jinx myself and make the problem return...but if it IS a miracle and gift from God, I would be TRULY ungrateful not to acknowledge it and share it with others.
What is an even more wonderful coincidence, is that this week my hubby is supposed to get news about when he can come home from overseas. If the papers say he can come home, then the Lord had perfect timing (as usual) to improve my health just a month before his return and to show me hope, that I will gain enough strength to help him and be the help and wife he needs!!! I know the lupus and fibro are not YET cured,
In the meantime, I need a virtual hug. Daily my husband calls me and tells me what is going on in the middle of the war front. He is in the most dangerous city on earth right now, SWAT, near the border of Afghanistan and Pakistan, where they are breaking all war rules of the Geneva convention, and beheading people in the streets. They are killing the police first, now kidnapping and beheading all government employees.There are 2 wars going on at the same time. Swat used to be an independent country until 1979 and now some leaders want it independent again, and at the same time,the Taliban decided it would be a great place to fight the Pakistani Army because they are up in the Mountains and there are more places to hide and be strategic in the mountains, but it has not turned out that they were fighting in the mountains. They are fighting int he populated areas, killing innocent people. Three members of my husband's family have been killed and 1 injured so far this month, and still my husband continues to work. I admire him so much! He will be a changed man when he gets home, but he really has an amazing, faith-filled attitude when he talks about it. He is on mild tranquilizers to try to sleep through the bombing and shelling, etc...so am I, and I am thankful for them in times of war and other overwhelming situations.I am SOOO afraid of war. Some people's phobias are snakes or death or drowning, mine is war. If I didn't know better, I would think I was killed in world war 2, then was reincarnated again as a second chance to have a life, because even when I was 3 years old, in my bedroom, when an airplane would fly overhead, I would cover my head, thinking they would drop something from the plane or that they could see me from the plane. When hubby talks about it, it makes me want to jump out of my skin and run forever. I think God knew I could not bear to go through a war,
Posted by Bluebirdy at 20:32