EXTENDING MY LIFE EXPECTANCY
** Yesterday and today I have been laying flat, almost impossible to sit up, even with all my strong pain meds. I didn't know a person could stay conscious through this.Why is it that I go unconscious from high or loow blood sugar when my pain level is fine, and I could be using that time to get things done, but then when the pain is so severe that I can't believe a person can bear so much pain, I can't go to sleep even if I intentionally raise my blood sugar? It seems so cruel!
**SOMETHING IRONIC
**I learned something more about my health that indicated that I should have only 3 years to live. I held my head (which felt like it was going to explode), and tried not to laugh. My odds are getting better! Up until yesterday I had up to ONE year to live." ROFL. I plan to keep increasing the amount of years and health! I think Dr. Oz's book about simple ways to heal all our damage and care for ourselves, ways that have been known since the beginning of the human race, and only forgotten/not taught in the past few generations."You: Staying Young" by Dr. Oz. He has a bunch of other books too. I really hate the modern medical system and have been abused by doctors, but Dr. Oz talks more about natural healing, prevention, how the body works naturally, how to help it work at full capacity without drugs, etc. I will probably go through the library to get them. I'm going broke on books, and most libraries will order books for you if they don't have them, either through intra-library loan, or buying it. They are given a budget each year and if they don't spend it all, it gets cut for the next year, so they usually buy the item you want and then you are the first to read it.
**So? We are all going to die, and no one knows when. We could have a fatal accident. The amount of time does not matter. Its HOW you live that matters. Live in the moment. Enjoy things that you are seeing/smelling/touching/learning/hearing now. We all may leave this world within 10 years anyway due to the second coming of the Lord and the resurrection. I think it doesn't matter too much how much time you have left...I have never been afraid of death...but I have wished I had more help with the pain and with daily living needs and isolation. I've learned a lot through this scare of being told my life might be shortened. I am practicing not worrying...I am still working on that one, but the books about "how to live as if you are dying" and "ONE YEAR TO LIVE" AND "Man's search for meaning" really have helped make life make more sense.
**This week my hubby and I will hear from immigration about whether he can come or not, so we are eager to hear about that. I WANT HIM OUT OF THAT WAR/POVERTY ZONE! He is so brave, intelligent, loving, high morals, loves God, he could go so far if he could get out of there.I want to spend whatever time we have left together...and if possible, time after the resurrection also. We will see what God's will is on the matter when we get the letter from immigration. I know we all are too stressed. I hope we can all learn to handle stress and enjoy our lives. I love the saying "Be kind to others; they are hurting and just trying to survive, just like yourself."
Blessings to you all, I pray regularly for all of those who are in my life,
Bluebirdy
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