Sorry to my friends who are wondering if I disappeared. Each morning I wake up with prayer and gratitude and things to do and goals and ask the Lord to help me accomplish as much as possible, but within hours, my body has betrayed me and I can't push myself no matter how hard I try and pray. People with good adrenal glands can push themselves through their pain and fatigue, but lupus destroyed my adrenal gland, so "my get up and go, got up and went". 3 days ago both my mother and I were taken to the hospital in separate ambulances at the same time. We both have lupus, and when the barometric pressure gets too high, we both get really ill, but the lupus affects different parts of our body. That was the second time I had been to the E.R. that day, and the first time, the meanest, most disliked, and actually the most dangerous Dr. was on call in the E.R., and again I was treated so badly, and in too much pain to defend myself, and didn't have anyone to go with me. They tried 7 times to get an IV in me, and in all the many years of me getting IV treatements, I have NEVER had them try these very painful spots. It almost seemed as if the Dr. told them to make it as uncomfortable as possible so I wouldn't be in a hurry to go back there. They tried places like my inner arm almost in my armpit, and my feet, and other places on my arms and legs where I have NEVER had someone look for a vein. I already stay away from the E.R. and hospital until I am screaming into my pillow and can't handle the torture anymore. I have even stayed home when I thought I was truly dying from heart pain, because I couldn't defend myself or advocate for myself if I went to the E.R. myself. Well, I am SO ready to get up and out and be among the living...and it seems the harder I try, the farther away that goal gets...but I will keep trying, knowing that the Lord has a reason for all things. Back to asking the Lord to help me hour by hour. I pray for all my computer friends. Friends are what makes life worth living...and I hope I can help some of you somehow in this life. We are in the last days, and we are all struggling.
~ALWAYS BE KINDER THAN NECESSARY, FOR EVERYONE YOU MEET IS GOING THROUGH SOME KIND OF STRUGGLE!~