Saturday, 10 October 2009

Thankful for Blizzards

Warning: NOT a Pollyanna positive attitude right now! So if you dislike it when people are upset, and not well enough to think only good of the situation, don't continue reading. (Well, I guess it IS sort of positive to be able to see something positive about blizzards.) I am more positive when I am not so worn down physically. That makes you feel like you don't have strength for a normal day, much less crisises that arise.

I also have a big purple throbbing broken toe that I have to deal with...and that is funny, because it keeps my PERFECT record of breaking an ankle or a toe every time I have ever moved in my life, starting with my first move when I was 8 years old!

My stars! I tried to add a picture here, and the picture was added 15 times! I deleted them all and tried to add a different picture, got the same problem! Anyone else having that problem?

I never thought I'd be thankful for blizzards, but we are expecting blizzards today and tomorrow, then Monday is Thanksgiving here, so I don't have to worry about moving until Tuesday, when I'll start calling around again for a new storage unit and movers and help to sort.

I just realized I will have to get rid of everything I planned to sell on ebay, because the storage unit will be so expensive if I get a big enough unit, that I will pay more for storage than I would get from the ebay sales. This landlord has cost me so much money with this illogical and cruel decision to kick me out for fixing his door!
This landlord has cost me SO MUCH! Being robbed twice, the cost of fixing the door, the cost of paying women to help me sort, the cost of movers, the cost of the new storage unit, and now the potential income from the stuff I hoped to sell!
There goes all the money I needed to spend on going to pick up my husband at the airport when he finally gets here.

All because of his pride-filled temper tantrum of me fixing the door myself after him promising for 8 months to do it. I checked my rights, and I can't sue him for the stuff that was stolen. SO FRUSTRATING! You would think a landlord MUST provide a safe and secure property!!!
I feel like I am losing what very little I have left in this life, and forgive me for comparing myself to Job, but Job's suffering and loss only lasted 5 MONTHS! My suffering has been 30 years and my loss of my home, country, my 3 jobs, my ability to support myself, my first husband, all of his family which I loved like my own; had to leave my children in the USA when I moved to Canada, so I feel like I lost them; have not been able to get back to see them or my grandchildren, so I feel like I've lost my grandchildren, and all that loss started 10 years ago, and what little I brought with me has been robbed again and again so it gets less and less.

I know there's a reason for everything...eager to find out all the reasons from the Lord, which I am SURE He will disclose in time or in eternity. I'm not that attached to my stuff, it just seems to be a symbol of MORE loss, on top of losing my children, first husband/family and my grandchildren. Maybe God does plan to restore all things to me as he did to Job, when my new husband gets here, we will see. I know it will take time.

I thought I found 2 ladies to help move the stuff, I was willing to pay $20 an hour, but they can't help on the same day, so I'm not sure if that would work out. I don't have the strength to do it for more than 1 day. I'll think about it.
I know in a few days I will probably look back at this and be ashamed of myself. Satan likes to work on us hardest when we are already down. Maybe it's easier for him than to attack us when we feel stronger. This too shall pass. I'm just not handling it the best until it does pass. I know He will help me find an affordable place, and people to help, in HIS own time...I guess I just have too much on my plate right now, and this was the straw that broke the camel's back. Yes, I AM ashamed. It could be SO much worse. I do get low sometimes though.
Thank you for being my only friends. You go right to my heart. I am SO grateful for you, and for the Internet.


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