Wednesday, 18 November 2009

How Long Do I Have to Live With This Illness, Lord?

I am revising this a little bit. People are getting the impression that I am the one asking this question. I am not. I know how long I have to live with it, and I know the Lord's help will always be with me. I named the post that title to promote an article of the same name, to be found here:
Click below: How Long Do I Have to Live With This Illness, Lord? ...In order to help others who might be having these thoughts and questions.

I guess I should have put ONLY that article in a blog with that title, but decided to update people about my life at the same time.

The day started out nicely, I was given the award you see in the upper right hand corner, from http://www.disease.com/ website, which if you look at it, is impressive!

I'm struggling again. I have a condition that even put my heart Dr. in the hospital, but I stay home and suffer, unable to get myself a drink of water, and very hard to even sit up or roll over. You can read about it here: http://tinyurl.com/costo-fibro . It's called costochondritis and even morphine is not taking care of the pain. I'm not patient with myself when I have to be stuck in bed. I'D RATHER BE CLEANING or walking outside or ANYTHING! I'd rather clean toilets than just lay here...but I am so VERY grateful to have the Internet here at my fingertips. Friends, knowledge, ability to teach and encourage, even when I can barely speak.

I am over-thinking these delays about my husband, and every possible idea in heaven and earth goes through my mind, again and again. I wish I could sue the gov't for pain and suffering and torment. I know it will happen in the Lord's perfect time, but I am just a human, I can't see His purpose or His plan, so I wonder! I wonder if there's something I should be doing to change it all, or not. I think of:

The Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
And the wisdom to know the difference.

Yesterday a friend in India suggested that I contact some foreign consulates in Canada, from the areas that he is working in, and see if they would be willing to help us get my husband home, more than my own gov't is helping. It doesn't hurt to ask. At least it's something we can do to and not just sit, waiting.
Since their consulate in his area kicked up such a complaint about losing such an honorable and good translator, and not being able to find another like him, I sometimes wonder if they are purposely waiting for Mom and I to pass away, so they won't have to let him come here. His family is not here, so he would probably stay where he is if he didn't have us. They have already waited for my father to pass away.
Oh well, when I can breathe better and move better and get more active and get some fresh air, everything will seem less intense. Satan works on you when you are down. This too shall pass.
Every few days lupus causes a different problem, so it never seems to end, but one quote has made me feel better about the fact that I will have pain like this maybe for 40 -50 years.

"Perseverance is not a long race: it is many short races, one after another."

~~Walter Elliot

So if I just persevere through each short-lived malady, then onto the next, eventually I will make it to the end of my race here on earth...the human race. lol. The Lord promises to help us through everything that may come into our lives.

Bless you all...Sheila


Oh Sheila
I pray for you each and every day-you are such a strong person and a blessing to me -its seems like when we cant go on any longer the Lord just gives us the strength to make it through another day

Hold on my friend. I am really appalled at the amount of suffering you are always bearing. But one thing I discovered about pain and suffering. There is a heavenly respite no matter how intense or pronounced the pain or suffering maybe. This is God induced rest from suffering. Otherwise we will all pass out whenever we incur intense pain all throughout the day and night. And just as the pain or suffering begins, there is a lull in it or even a temporary cessation. Call it the grace of God. I am always praying for you my friend. I know that in God's perfect time you will be reunited with your husband. This is beyond human effort. Only God can determine when this will take effect. Just like Job, you are probably the subject of an intense battle in the spiritual realm. I'm sorry that just like the fiends of Job I may had have an initial misconception of your suffering. God forgive me for this initial misconception. God is good and He will not let you suffer a minute longer than what He wills. Thanks for the post. God bless you all always.

Dear Sheila,
Thinking of you these days and wondering what's going on your husband
and how are you feeling.
You are my dear friend
and your pain is /in some way/ my pain too.

I'd like to send you
Love & Blessings
and hugsss

Thanks for links.

This little pic with your signature is really beautiful.

My last post is with poem "Marriage",
maybe you know it and like it.

hi sheila. thought of you today. you know, there is really a purpose to everything that's happening to us. we may not understand it today but we will eventually. right now, there are so many things that i don't understand myself, but i've decided to just trust God and let Him lead the way. when i do, i have peace in my heart.

i would recommend you read how to handle adversity by charles stanley. i'm learning a lot from it.

sheila, let's keep on praying. let's hold on to God. one thing for sure He will never fail us. one day you and i will see our deliverance and that all the glory will be His.


Hi Pia;
I thank you for your loving friendship and spiritual connection. I hope you read the first part of my blog where it said that I am not asking the question about how long I have to live with this illness. I KNOW how long I have to live with it.
However, your statement does help me with some emotional torture that I am going through right now. I will try to get the book you mentioned.
You are such a good example Pia. ((((HUGS))))
Love, Sheila

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