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Monday 4 January 2010

Highly Sensitive Persons




"The butterfly often forgets that it used to be a caterpillar." Swedish Proverb



I love that quote, because right now I feel like I'm in ANOTHER caterpillar stage, and I am making a new life, trying to fix me emotionally and physically, soon I will be a butterfly! So if you could be a butterfly, what would you be? I would either be the little tiny pure white pearly one, or the big blue south American blue iridescent one in the picture above. That is a tree covered by them, eating the sap off the bark. It can also go the other way. Look at who you are today. You have grown so much through your trials. You used to be a caterpillar, only allowed to see things from the ground. You didn't have the insight or the knowledge or wisdom that you have now, after going through your trials and learning the lessons that come as rewards to those trials. Those trials are the tight, confining cocoon that you break out of, making you into a butterfly.
I am reading the coolest book! It's called "Highly Sensitive Persons-How to thrive in a world that overwhelms you"., by Elaine Aron. She has written about 7 books about the newly discovered personality trait. I found websites and monthly newsletters that go along with it, and blogs by sociologists that specialize in HSPs (Highly Sensitive Persons) and write articles about them. It is changing me! I thought I was burned out emotionally, and that my nerves were shot; and that I couldn't function in the world anymore, and this shows me that none of that is true, I do not have ADD or hyperactivity, I am highly sensitive physically, emotionally and spiritually. It tells ways to adjust to things that overwhelm you, and listed so many signs of that personality that suit me to a TEE! Maybe I'll get less sensitive and more useful to the world, able to cope with stress more, more hard skinned. I am not reading it as fast as I wish because I'm having a hard time concentrating while grieving, and hard time retaining info, so I have to read it again and again. I am also re-experiencing all the trauma from my first husband leaving, like post traumatic stress disorder, but even so, I do feel comfort and strengthened and I'm even getting a lot of insight as to why this is a good thing. I get more ideas every day of what God protected both my husband and I from. I just am hating the thought of being alone, but I'll take it one day at a time like every other widow or divorced woman in the world.
In case you are interested in this Highly Sensitive Persons info, here are the websites that my mom and daughter and I have found to be ENLIGHTENING, changing our lives. Almost all HSPs get conditions such as migraines, TMJ or CFS, fibromyalgia, auto immune disease (lupus is one of dozens) or scoliosis. It's the way our system is trying to adapt to our world and trying to balance what overwhelms us. Some of these sites have signs and quizzes and tests to see if you are Highly Sensitive.

Those first 2 are run by a girl that went to high school with my daughter. Small world!

This site below is by Elaine Aron who wrote many books about sensitivity. Her book about sensitive children helped me raise my sensitive preemie daughter years ago, and now Elaine is helping me.
http://highlysensitive.org/ based on Elaine's book and added more info.


Another good site of information


Fibromyalgia and HSPs
I am gaining a bit more strength since I stopped doing the constant legal paperwork, and I hope to keep getting stronger. I even started losing weight, because constant stress makes you hold onto fat, and the stress has been easing....even WITH the feeling of loss. It's STILL not as hard as the torment from all the legal work, and the daily wondering how I would be able to do even the most basic things for 2 people, not just 1, and the constant "living in limbo", not being able to make any decisions for 6 years, because the decision for everything would be different depending on whether my future would have 2 people or just me.


New Year, New Hope, New Beginnings, New Life!

Start becoming the best person you can be, one baby step at a time. You are in competition only with who you used to be. You are not in competition with anyone else on earth.

Blessings,
Sheila

6 comments:

May God bless you for your faithfulness in Him, dear Sheila.
I hope the days get easier. *hugs*

I learn new things from you every post you make or from every email you send me. What's so astounding about you is your voracious appetite to always read and increase your knowledge and expand your horizon. Truly, you are a remarkable woman. I am just content in reading the word of God every day. The first thing I do in the morning is read the day's message through the Daily Bread. Then I read the Bible both the Old Testament and the New Testament everyday until I finish the whole book. Then I start all over again. I just read the newspaper mostly the headlines, sports, business, entertainment and the comics section and solve the crossword puzzle. I never write until the inspiration comes. I wake up at 2:00 am to start my morning routine, then I commence blogging since that's the only time the kids are asleep and I can have the computer all by myself, lol. I wake up my youngest daughter at 5:00 am for school and my youngest son at 6:00 am also for school. Then I take a quick breakfast and off I go to do the daily marketing. When I get home I'm just too tired that I have to rest for awhile after browsing the newspaper. Then I cook for the kids and if the computer is free, I go back to blogging again. My daily routine is so regular that it will surely bore any other person. But I offer everything that I do to God as a burnt offering. That's how I manage to survive in spite of the constant pains and continuous trials. I just cited my experiences to you to make you feel that you are not alone in your trials. I am also in constant pain because of my scoliosis that sometimes I could hardly stand up and walk. Is there no more chance for you and your husband to be reunited? I hope and pray that you will still be together if it is the Lord's will. Sorry for this long comment. I just have to unload my friend. I am always praying for you and for the intentions you espouse. Thanks for the post. God bless you always.

Dear Mel;
I love knowing these things about you. No wonder you are tired at the end of the day if you wake up at 2 a.m.!!! I'm glad to see you take a rest in the day!
I have learned to "never say never", because God can change things around, but it looks really bad for my husband immigrating here, and I can't move to another country. Maybe things will change in a few years, I don't know, but I am definitely too sick to take care of him now, and I think he will probably marry and have children before the government lets the case go further.
Bless you,
Sheila

Hi Sheila,
Great post and good insights as always. I love that picture, what a thrill it would be to stumble upon a swarm of iridescent beauty like that!
Your topic about HSP really intrigues me. I suppose like anything this condition comes in degrees. I will read what they say on the links you posted because I know many that are rocked by the sheer force of living and I have wondered about their personality make-up and what is different between those who reel and stagger while another just lets it bounce off. I suppose I'm somewhere in the middle but no question as I age I become more sensitive to all of life and far more emotional.
God bless you Sheila,
Fred

Hi Sheila,
Great post and good insights as always. I love that picture, what a thrill it would be to stumble upon a swarm of iridescent beauty like that!
Your topic about HSP really intrigues me. I suppose like anything this condition comes in degrees. I will read what they say on the links you posted because I know many that are rocked by the sheer force of living and I have wondered about their personality make-up and what is different between those who reel and stagger while another just lets it bounce off. I suppose I'm somewhere in the middle but no question as I age I become more sensitive to all of life and far more emotional.
God bless you Sheila,
Fred

bro, you wake up at 2 am?! that is too early. what time do you go to sleep then?

sheila, i still believe and i guess i will forever believe in miracles. just don't lose hope no matter how hopeless the situation may look. that is God's expertise. fixing the mess that we can't. nothing is too hard for Him.

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