Hi Precious friends, so many of you are earth angels, helping to carry me though this.
Also Heavenly Father has just been carrying me this past 8 days that Mom's been in the hospital. I have not been able to go out for 8 days in a row since 1 year ago when Dad and Mom were both in the hospital at the same time, and Dad passed away, then I had to keep going to prepare the funeral TWICE because there was a blizzard, and all the original speakers and guests couldn't get into town. (For you newbies, I can't get out every day due to advanced health problems.)
Well now it is blizzarding again. These conditions are just so similar to when Dad passed, I can't help but think "what if"...but doing that can make you crazy. You can "what if" yourself to insanity.
I spent 6 hours the past few days on legal work to get my husband home, and finish the work for the new lawyer before the court date in 3 weeks, then the other 6-10 hours a day, I am with Mom. I was glad I went today. They had switched doctors on her, and the new doctor changed around all her medicines that we worked so hard to get perfect in the first place. She could not even move or talk she was in so much pain. I insisted they get another doctor up there to change them back, because she was in so much pain that her blood pressure went high enough to cause a stroke. The new Dr. came and ordered more meds than before, so it will keep her blood pressure down and keep her out of pain, and ordered more tests and procedures. I was glad to be her advocate and be able to help her. I wish I could stay there with her 24/7 but I would have to have the bed next to her if I stayed that long.
They said they will do anything to avoid surgery, which would kill her...but they fear that her bowel might burst, which would mean emergency surgery anyway.
I know that my loving Savior will help me through anything that happens, but some things I just don't want to go through, such as losing Mom, losing this house just a month or so before my husband gets here, or losing the chance to get my husband here. If they happen, I'm sure I will survive, but I sure dread facing it all. Oh well, half the things we worry about never happen anyway, so I need to stop worrying. A year ago, I had a lot of anxieties, but so many online friends helped me grow, so now I only worry when I am really tired. Worrying about it now will just make me suffer twice if it does happen. Once now and once then. That's not smart...so I keep my mind busy with how I can prepare for the future, not fear it.
Blessings to you all,