Sunday, 21 September 2008

For HUSBANDS With a Chronic Illness

I think this book has got to be the only book written by a husband with chronic illness. It's called "Life Interrupted-It's not all about me" by Chris Tatevosian.

In order to help couples deal with illness and have a good marriage, there is a great need not only for couples who will write more about how they get through life, but a need for men to open up about their circumstances as well. Marriages with one or both partners sick has an astonishing divorce rate of 85%. It doesn't have to be this way! If more people would write about how to help marriages survive under intense conditions, if we could get some acknowledgement and some instructions on how to deal with certain circumstances, we could improve those odds greatly!

Why don't men write about their illness? All the chronic illness books I have, were written by women except for one by Tim Hansel called "You've Got to Keep Dancin". I think when men get a life changing illness, they are so deeply hurt, and their sense of self is destroyed so much, that they don't even know what to say, and they think that talking won't solve anything, so they stay silent. They don't want to seem weak by admitting they have any flaw or weakness. Most men rarely want to admit that they are only human. Not only will they not admit it, but they usually refuse to read anything that might make their life better. Thank goodness, Chris Tatevosian has broken his own silence and can see his life clearly for what it is. This book is available through any online bookstore such as Amazon, Alibris, Chapters, Borders, and many others, and through the MS Society website. If you buy from the MS site, some of the money goes to help MS patients and research. I bought the e-book because in Canada, the shipping for a book is usually more than the cost of the book. This very intelligent and emotionally aware man can see the whole picture, and how his illness affects the whole family, not just himself. He is able to go outside of himself and try to meet the needs of others in his life; and by so doing, he gets that love, respect and friendship in return. He has an easy-going way of writing that makes you think you are sitting in his living room listening to his story. He is not ashamed to admit that he has made some mistakes, and not to proud to keep from learning from those mistakes. He admits he's not perfect, but at least this book is some kind of voice to the men who are ill. That seems to be such an isolated sector of society. Men who are ill seem to have no one to talk to, no one to understand how deeply this affects who they feel they were created to be. I am very thankful to Chris for exposing his very painful life. A famous writer, when asked how to become a great writer, stated "Just open a vein and write". That's about how hard it is to get to the deeper parts of our soul and share them with others., and to have a book of depth and perception.

This book is a wonderful tool for wives as well, to understand how a man's mind works, and what he is trying to sort out when he gets a permanent illness.

Chris has his own website with many categories in it to help you learn more about his book and story. He has given multiple radio interviews, and he can tell you where to read the archives of those interviews if you go to his site. He is VERY entertaining and upbeat. He is a great example to all of us who are trying to get through one hour at a time. I'm sure he'd also want me to give a lot of credit to his care-giving wife; who takes care of all of his physical and emotional needs with a loving heart. It's not easy to do that and earn a living as well. Please go to his website and get to know this ground-breaking man. http://www.lifeinterrupted-nolonger.com/ I hope because of Chris' example, more men will write about how to deal with life, how to make live livable and pleasant even with limitations and pain.

I'm a big fan, Chris!



Hi Sheila!
Great review...I have to buy this book.
I visited Chris blog. His real story life is inspiration for many.
Thank you so much for this beautiful post
and for this recommendation.
Great job!

Tace care and
God bless you!

Love & hugsss

Hi Shiela,
That's a wonderful review of a book on man's suffering from a painful and debilitating disease. I agree with you that most men who are suffering from some sickness or pain choose to remain silent and preserve whatever is left on their own macho image. Well, times are changing and men must also change too and share their life experiences with their diseases so that others can understand them and empathize. Thanks for the marvelous post. God bless you always my dear sister and friend.

Post a Comment

Newer Post Older Post Home