Oh help. Just weeks after Dad's death, and all I have had time to do is to take mom to the Dr, and E.R. and hospital and stay with her at the hospital, then in between I collapse in pain. I have not even had a chance to get my family's Christmas boxes sent out!
I took mom out of town to the Dr. today. I still feel so alone in these crisises. I know God is here but I need PHYSICAL help. My brother who lives here has his own physical/mental problems and is not able to help, other brother and sister live hundreds of miles away and that brother works too much to come even to the funerals.
Mom will be admitted to the hospital in the morning before 9 a.m. In about 3 days she will have the surgery that the doctors kept warning her she will not live through. I feel like I am carrying my mom into the place of her murder. It feels like she has accepted the surgery as a way to go be with Dad and that way it won't be considered suicide. If she dies, I will be homeless. I have tried for years to get into cheaper housing that is sponsored by the government.My disability will not cover the price of moving or the price of an apartment. If she lives, I do not have the strength to take care of a surgery patient, or we will both be in the hospital within a day. What a messy crisis.
I also saw a Dr. today that was on call for my Dr. who is gone for 6 months. No Dr. will take responsibility for me while my Dr. is away, (they say I'm too 'complicated') so mom is getting medical care, but no matter how bad I get physically or emotionally as I try to care for her or if she dies, I don't get any help. Feels like I will die of pain/lupus and other problems before Mom dies, because she CAN get all the medical help she needs. Maybe in July the Dr. that told me I only had a year to live knew something more than I do.
Thanks for caring, you friends who do care and have been so supportive. Please pray for strength for my brother and I to bear our illnesses, mom's illness and surgery and maybe death, and the period after of taking care of her estate and trying to find a place to live so I won't be homeless.