I want to thank you all for your prayers. I do feel a difference when people pray for me, and I think that the episode of partially losing my vision may have lasted longer without prayer.
I did panic at first, but then had to calm myself down because I was alone here and had to think of what I should do. I called my Dr. to tell him that I woke up and could not see clearly, everything looked like I was looking through frosted glass. I wondered if it could be a stroke or something, due to having heart symptoms all week, but he said he was quite sure that the lupus had now caused enough damage to causes Multiple Sclerosis. He said that he had suspected MS for a while, but this confirms it, and even if I did go to the E.R. that night, and got the tests, there is nothing that can be done for the vision problem anyway, and that it usually passes in a week or 10 days. I was pretty upset. I could not imagine not being able to see for a week to 10 days and taking care of myself alone...and trying to help Mom who lives with me! But it only lasted about 2-3 days. It was a REAL growing experience to teach myself to be calm and not panic, and not be completely frustrated by not being able to do anything for myself, and being afraid that I might be like that forever, and fearing about my future. I felt the walls to get to the bathroom and felt my way to my little beverage fridge to get Ensure nutrition drink or water or an apple, so that did me for 3 days.
Mom ended up in the E.R. that night because there was a terrible storm rolling in, and when the weather changes quickly like that, our lupus really decides to attack us, and it hits in different ways each time and in each person. For her it was her kidneys, kidney pain is overwhelming and also they are not cleaning her blood like they should, so she is full of infection which has come out with infected sores on her back.
I wish I had a bit more notice, I would have asked her to take our cousin, who offered to go with her, she was neglected for about 9 hours, then seen, and not given any treatment. What a waste. I have always gone with her, so she never knew about the neglect and abuse from our hospital when you go alone. I don't think she'll try to go alone again.
Last July I was told I have 1 year to live, so I was waiting until the end of this month to celebrate that I beat that doctor's opinion, and then when I lost my vision, I did start to wonder if the Dr. knew something I didn't know. The Dr. said it will happen again and again, which is upsetting. I need my husband here if that is going to happen.
We are dealing with the highest up people involved in getting my husband here because of family hardship, so we will see what the Lord decides.
Thanks again! GOD BLESS MY ONLINE FRIENDS!