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Friday 17 June 2011

I AM OUT OF ENERGY
















Today I am rolling in pain. I almost went to the E.R. but realized I couldn't if I needed to be strong tomorrow to bring Mom home. Also my brain is not working. Painfog, brainfog, fibrofog, choose a phrase.


They are now going to keep Mom until Monday, which will give me a bit more time to rest and get things ready here. I couldn't get to the hospital today, and Mom saod she really needed something. I told her I'd get it to her. I knew I'd be crying all through the hospital, this pain is too much to even move. My brother, who was very busy with his own really rotten day, rescued me and took the item up to her. It was something she really did not need. That frustrated us. I have no idea how I can be her nurse and servant when I can't even serve my own needs.

It seems every small task that my brother and I attempted during these 3 weeks turns into a disaster, taking many times longer to do. I HAVE LOST MY WALLET! I don't even have the strength to think of all the cards that I have to report lost, then call and report them all, and then go to each place to get a replacement card. I can't even get a replacement for them until Canada Post strike is over, because they must be mailed to each place so I can go pick them up. I'm just crying and begging God for renewal and strength. I even cast Satan out yesterday, then I got worse. What a mess I am today.

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