I stopped at the grocery store for some apples, and found this new fruit that I just couldn't pass by. Isn't it beautiful!? Its called a Dragon Fruit. Have you ever eaten it? If you did, where do you live? Its bigger than my hand. It is soft like a stuffed toy, and the skin feels like its made of wax!
I LOVE LOVE LOVE trying new things. That is the joy of life, discovering/learning new things. It looks like a fruit that you would find in heaven! I am eager to see all the many fruits and flowers and plants and animals world wide. Science says that there are 200+ species of plants, insects, animals, etc. going extinct every year. It makes me think of the story of Adam and Eve. So many people assume that It was an apple that they were tempted with and that they ate, but it doesn't say "an apple", it says "a fruit". So it was probably a fruit that is now extinct. Its yummy! The seeds are like kiwi fruit seeds or poppy seeds. I thank God for these little gifts that bring sunshine into my life through these struggles.
I had a day of crying and frustration and praying...and I asked the Lord to fill me up with courage and that He will keep reminding me that He DOES know me and takes care of the smallest details, so I need not fear. I will come out of it alive and wiser, but still I am scared of all the suffering I might go through in the meantime. Kind of like "Father, if you can take this cup from me...but nevertheless, let THY will, not MY will be done." So I feel stronger spiritually now. I guess I hit my panic point when the pain and exhaustion get so bad that I can't think clearly and the "screaming" of pain in my body overwhelms the "still small voice inside" that is trying to get through to me. So things are getting better.