Sunday, 22 March 2009

Standing At My Fork in the Road

Hello All;

Thank you for your prayers and kind thoughts. They helped a lot. I always end up in the hospital after a trip out of town, and this time I am only tired, and in pain, but not bad enough for the hospital.

Now (symbolically) I am standing looking at 2 possible paths that are coming up within 3 months, and preparing as much as possible for either road. Maybe I should have found a picture with 3 roads. One in case my husband comes, one in case he doesn't, and one in case my mother passes away soon. The fear of Mom dying has been delayed. That probably won't happen until after my husband is here. The chances are very strong that my husband will be coming home. OUR HEAVENLY FATHER IS SO GOOD TO US! I just wish the judge could rush it. The judge is going on a 6 week holiday, which delays our lives 6 weeks as well. Oh well, all things happen in the Lord's perfect timing. ALL DELAYS HAVE A PURPOSE!
The trip to court went as easily as possible. My Dr. had advised me not to go, and I saw why. Lupus affected my central nervous system, so it acts like the symptoms of M.S., (multiple sclerosis) so when I went to lift my foot, the message didn't quite get to my foot, so it would not lift, so I fell 3 times during the trip. I fell on my walker which caused more bruises and injuries than if I had not even been using the walker. That frustrated me a bit. I was a small city girl in the big city for sure, noticing the rushed pace, the troubled faces, the skyscrapers.

The white people there passed me as if they never even saw me falling to the ground. I have seen on TV how people ignore drunks or homeless people that fall, but I was dressed nicely for court, so I didn't look like either of those things. Every time, it was a foreigner who ran to my aid and helped me up and brushed me off. Probably because they know what its like to feel ignored and not have anyone to help. That was the most fun part of my trip! The locals don't like that the taxi drivers and hotel maids are all foreigners, and I LOVED IT! I LOVE LOVE LOVE to talk to different people about their culture and country!

We have no decision about my husband yet because I have to go back to another court session because the lawyers planned a 5 hour hearing, and the judge said she only had 3.5 hours because she had other plans. My lawyer was firm with her, saying that we had waited 3-5 years for this, this will determine 2 people's lives, and if these 2 people are denied being together because 3 or 4 questions were not covered, he would be filing a complaint against the judge; so the judge gave us her time, then said she would set up another session in about 6 weeks.

If the Lord's plan is for my husband to come here, then the only way that could have happened was to get THIS lawyer on our case and the other lawyer OFF the case. This lawyer has been better for our case in so many ways.

The other lawyer was too burned out to have pressured the judge for my rights. This lawyer also has visited the area where my husband is, and understood the danger my husband is in, and was able to answer a cultural question that baffled the judge enough that she spent a lot of time on the issue, so this lawyer was able to explain what was needed, and perhaps save our case. I don't think any other lawyer could have done that.

My lawyer also has MS, which is so much like lupus, that he could tell the judge what my life is like, and why I need my husband home to help.

After me submitting almost 2000 pages to the previous lawyer, that lawyer told me she was submitting 12 pages to the judge. This lawyer submitted 131 pages to the judge. With that, the judge would be able to see the hardships and sacrifices we have endured for our 5 year relationship to be together.

My husband and I did really well during questioning and we were asked the same questions separately. He could not hear me answer, but when they called him, we all could hear his phone call. Our answers were almost exactly the same, which was a good sign.
The lawyer that was there as sort of the defense, trying to decide if my husband really should be allowed to come or not, told my lawyer that she really liked us, which even shocked her, because at first glance this looks like a very unusual case with such dramatic stories that there's no way they could all be true, but after hearing our stories and meeting me, she told my lawyer she thinks my husband will be coming.

If she has more influence than the judge, my lawyer said it is about 75-90% sure that he is coming. If the judge has more authority than the defense lawyer, then it's back to 50% chance, because she did not seem as optimistic and impressed as the defense lawyer. I have no clue what the judge is thinking or feeling.

One more blessing from God about this delay, is that since this was all recorded, my lawyer can replay it, and pay attention to points that might have bothered the judge, and then bring up those points in the next session,giving us an even better chance of being together. No one else gets a second chance to address the judge's doubts, so even the judge not having enough time became something that will benefit us.
So if my hubby is coming, I know it will be hard in every way to be part of a couple again, but obviously good will come from it, since the Lord planned this and carried us through all the trials and the points that looked like there was no way he would be allowed to come here yet.

It's really a miracle, for many reasons, and I hope to remember all the points that we were told about why he would probably be refused the right to come right now; so we can write it in our "love story" book, all about what God did to overcome all those points.

My lawyer asked if this was an arranged marriage. I said "Yes, arranged by God." lol. Who could have a better matchmaker?

I got home Friday evening, and the next morning I went and picked up Mom and brought her home.

Mom said she is actually healthier and stronger than I am right now because she had 3 weeks of protein and nutrients and going into her veins, so she is built up pretty well. She has very little pain, she has more strength than when she went into the hospital; and the obstruction seems to be gone, and she is eating again.

I felt a lot better in the hotel than in my house, so I have to figure out if its something in this house, or if its something in my city that is making me feel worse. I thought I had it figured out what it could be in my house, but Mom thinks it might be something in the city, because she did not feel the same difference that I did when she was in the hospital. I guess I should stay in a motel in my city to see if I felt better, like I did on this trip, or if I feel the same as at my house. It also could have just been our merciful Savior carrying me through that trip also. I was in pain because of the falls I took, so I sat in a hot tub for that pain, but I did not have the same internal, constant pain that I have here.

If it turns out that it IS just our house, then I know what needs to be done to remedy the situation, and then I will have more strength to enjoy my new marriage and new life.

My sister got dizzy on the second night she stayed here, so I think there's something in the house. After she spent the day with mom at the hospital, she felt good enough to drive back to Calgary. I don't want my hubby to get sick from this house too, so I will be doing some investigating before he gets here.

The last time I thought he was coming home was valentine's day 2006, and I had hired a housekeeper for months ahead of time to help move the house around to fit his belongings in with my own. Then we found out that he would not be allowed out of the country, and I filled all the emptry drawers and empty closet space again because I couldn't bear to look at them and think that he should be with me. Now I will start all over with the sorting and moving, etc. This time probably on my own, because I have not been able to find anyone to hire. I think I will leave some things for my husband to do when he gets here so he has some things to do to fill his time, and so he will feel like he helped to re-arrange this place to make it his home as well. So it will be about 3-4 months from now if he does come.

After the court hearing, I went back to the hotel, kneeled down and thanked the Lord for making everything as easy as possible. There were many subjects that my ex-lawyer wanted to raise that would have been very controversial and may have lost our case, and not one of them was mentioned, so I thanked the Lord for making this trip as easy as possible, even if it seemed like Satan was trying his best to keep me out of that court room by making me too sick to go or to injure myself and not be able to make it. I thanked Him for carrying us through all the trials and the fears, and for all the things we had learned from 5 years of leaning on Him and learning the lessons that are in my previous blog, "When We Struggle, http://bluebirdyliving.blogspot.com/2009/03/when-we-suffer.html .

THANKS AGAIN MY DEAR FRIENDS...definitely you are my gifts from God, inspired by God, instruments of God. Thank you for keeping your faith strong and hearing the promptings of the Holy Spirit when He asks you to send a friend something or tell them something that turns out to be the perfect thing at the perfect time.
Blessings to you!

Add on note: I am watching the news, and there was a snow storm the day after I was in Calgary, and the day before I went to Calgary. It was beautiful weather while I was there. That was also perfect timing. I am the weakest of the weak, so I lean on God more than most would. In return, he is guiding me with perfect timing. I still have much to learn about trusting Him in ALL things. I am so dense and such a slow learner in that area, like most humans I guess. He really did make that difficult trip as easy as it could have possibly been.


God bless you, Bluebirdy. And your lawyer, and the judge, so that everything will work out according to His plan. And blessings too, to your loving mom, and brother and family. Everyone is an integral subject in the tapestry of love.

Sheila dear--I am so happy for your good news about the trip, and the court hearing! I knew that you would sail through the ordeal with God's wind behind you--also that your Mom would pull through, and be better for her rest and hospital care--
You are so right that God is guiding you with perfect timing!
I hope you find what may be wrong with the house environment--Carbon Monoxide is the first possibility that comes to mind...are you able to get fresh air into the house?
Sometimes the stress of the home envoironment can make us sick, as we can feel overwhelmed by unfinished duties, and sad memories and fears...

Thanks for the positive outlook and update--and relax and rest! You can pretend you are in a motel, if all else fails...

Thanks Misti! I hope you will also have all the blessings you need in your life. You are such a dear friend.

Firebird, I'm pretty sure I know what it is in the house. See http://www.dirtyelectricity.ca/electrical_hypersensitivity.htm . but I have a cheaper fix for it than is mentioned in that article.
This is just another type of invisible pollution that is making us sick. The US gov't has found that the reason for the 700% increase in children's asthma is due to vehicle fumes. More and more poor housing are being built by large roads and highways. Then when they found out about the illnesses caused by the new compact fluorescent lightbulbs, I got rid of them quickly, because Mom and I both got sick just days after using them, and since we both have lupus, we can't bear the UV rays in those lights. I'm going to post this reply to you on the blog so it might help others who don't read the comments.
Blessings, Sheila

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