Been laying in intolerable pain for 8 days. I got a break for 1 day so I could shower and wash clothes, then next day (yesterday) it was even worse. I started my third batch of antibiotics which are suposed to be the strongest there is (zithromax). I waited here in pain for so long, unable to eat or get a drink, just sipping water with my pills. Morphine didn't even work, so called my Dr. and he told me to go to the E.R. The ambulance came, mom followed in the car. When you go alone to the hospital here, they are very mean and I wish I had a mini recorder on me. There were insults and snyde remarks and trying to start a fight and I could barely think, then when mom was finally allowed in to be with me, they were kind, because there was a witness there, so they dared not say anything. I was so happy that this is the first time in 10 years that they treated me quickly, took my pain seriously, called my family Dr. They decided the antibiotic was the wrong one, it should never be used in dental infections, it can even make the situation worse, and they told me to tell the dentist not to use it anymore. The Dr. said he gave me more painkiller than he had ever given anyone in his career, due to my high pain/drug tolerance and the nature of the pain. Trigeminal neuralgia is enough, it is called the suicide disease, then add on top of that bone pain, infection, skin graft right from area of the nerve, and lupus causing infection, and I was out of my head. He gave me a shot, then some pills to get me through the night until I could see my Dr. today. Called my Dr. today and he was not in the office, so I will see him tomorrow. I had to go bak to the ER today, same routine, the ambulance men were quite rude, and told me "we can't keep treating you!" I was so out of my head in pain that I thought.."If I can't get treatment when I am in this kind of pain, then I understand how people just kill themselves or walk out into traffic. YOU CAN NOT LIVE IN THAT KIND OF PAIN! I was writhing and rolling in pain and sobbing and my nerves were shot after so many days of that pain, so I was extra sensitive to every bump, every sound, light, etc. I could not even sit up for 8 days for more than a minute without almost passing out. The only reason I am able to type now is because of the painkillers which are stronger than morphine.
Tomorrow I will go out of town to my Dr. by laying on the back seat of the car. I hope the new antibiotics kick in soon and help. If they don't, it means the problem is something different than infection. I did feel like I would die, then thought of my husband in such danger, and wondered if one of us might die before we meet, and that this we are supposed to find out more about the visa, and maybe even both of us will die and have to meet in the spirit world. I don't know. Everything seems so dramatic in this pain and with family problems and every other problem, got credit cards used by fraudsters and about 5 other financial problems that must be straightened out. Just too much stress to handle in this condition. Will write more later.
Wednesday, 7 November 2007