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Tuesday 4 March 2008

Forgot to mention

I got out of the hospital at 1 a.m. and my battery was dead. Just what I needed after 24 hours in the hospital and in terrible pain and heartbreak. Thank heaven I belong to an auto club, and they took about an hour to come. I got 4 hours sleep. Time to get back to the hospital in time to face the HORRID doctor mom was given. He is one of the 17 doctors I interviewed when searching for a family Dr. and all he did was insult me and threaten me. Mom has been on morphine about 20 years, and he said he is taking her off morphine while she's in the hospital. Well, that could kill her just from going through withdrawal and will not help her condition at all. She does not take morphine just because she thinks it's fun! She is in unbearable pain without it. Enough pain to make her heart stop. Looks like I will have to sneak in some of her pain medicine just to keep her alive. This is a nightmare. My mother is SUPER intelligent, VERY emotionally strong. She has barely even cried from Dad's death, and did months worth of paperwork in a very short time, even though the government has decided that SHE is the dead one, and they cut off all her retirement checks. One mistake by a gov't worker, and it takes MONTHS to get it straightened out. I'd better get going in case the car battery is dead again and I'll have to call a cab. I am thinking of the scripture that says you will never be given more than you can handle, and I don't believe it. Otherwise why would people have heart attacks and nervous breakdowns and physical breakdowns? When I re-looked at that scripture, it actually said that no one will be TEMPTED more than they can bear...but still people quote that scripture to me. Oh gosh, I'm in so much pain. I have not sit up for 24 hours straight for many many years. I have not sit up for even 12 hours straight for over 11 years. I feel the Lord's comfort and strength and I am very grateful for it.
Blessings, Bluebirdy

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